How to Write a Great College Essay
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- Written by Nina Cannon
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Summer is a time when most students in our community attend camp, vacation with family, have summer jobs, or just simply relax and connect with friends. For those students entering their senior year in high school, however, summer is also the time to begin the process of writing college essays. While colleges and universities do not usually post their applications for admission to the 2016 academic year until mid-August, the Common Application (used by a majority of colleges and universities) is already online and ready for completion (see www.commonapp.org). And the essay portion of the Common Application has become a critical piece of the process as more and more schools are taking a holistic approach to admissions. This means that some students who may not have scored as well as they would have liked on the SAT or ACT, may still be able to grab the attention of admissions and gain acceptance by submitting a spectacular essay. Another reason why the college essay has become an important part of the application is because a well written essay can make a student stand out among many applicants with similar standardized test scores, grades, and activities.
So what makes a great college essay? There are many factors but the first step is to find a topic that allows the student to reveal a part of themselves that is not otherwise included on the application. For example, if the student is a Varsity athlete, they should not write about making the winning touchdown or goal, or making the winning save or throw. The student's athletic activities and accomplishments are already included on the application, and if the student is really an outstanding athlete, he or she is probably already being recruited to play their sport in college. So unless a student has done something unusual in the sports arena, such as being the only female ice hockey player on an otherwise all-male team, or playing the sport at a high level with a disability, they should choose another topic.
Perhaps the student has challenged themselves in other ways through a special program or experience, or has a special talent that they have pursued outside of school. The point is that the essay should not retell everything that is already listed on the application. The five Common Application prompts are written broadly to allow the student to write about almost any subject that reveals their character and personality. That being said, the Common Application prompts do seem to emphasize leadership and problem-solving skills, as displayed in one's school, community, or summer program. The concern with showing leadership qualities is evident in that two of the five prompts ask the student to write about an idea that they have challenged or a problem that they have solved or would like to solve. There is no doubt that colleges are looking for students that will become the next generation of problem-solvers and leaders.
Once a student has decided on a topic that is unique, the second step in writing the college essay is to catch the reader's attention from the start with an interesting "hook." Most students have already learned to begin their creative writing pieces with a statement that hooks the reader, and the same is especially true when writing the college essay. The reason for this is simple. College admissions officers are faced with the daunting task of reading hundreds if not thousands of essays from applicants each year so it is imperative that the essay catch the reader's attention and draw them in from the very first line. For example, my son, in his college application to Princeton University, was asked to write about the value of culture in his life. While many students would have interpreted the word "culture" as referring to art, music, and literature, my son was interested in learning about different cultures through the study of languages, and he found cultural discovery and enrichment through challenging himself to learn how to say "I want to eat a hamburger" in as many languages as he could master. So he began his essay with the question: "What does a hamburger have to do with learning about culture?" This opening line not only hooked the reader to find out the answer to the question, and to read on, but also identified him to the admissions staff as the "hamburger kid." His hook made his essay stand out and made him memorable. Obviously, he went on to write about the importance of cultural discovery through the study of languages, but it was the opening phrase that caught their attention.
Following the creation of an interesting hook, the third step in writing a great college essay is to introduce and recount an incident or experience, and then to develop and discuss that event in the following paragraphs in order to more broadly define what the student has learned from it that has made them a better person in terms of their ability to make a positive contribution to the college campus, in particular, and to the global community, in general. Colleges are looking for applicants who will make positive contributions to the campus community and who will ultimately make constructive contributions to society. The essay is a crucial tool in expressing the character traits and passions that a student has developed from a special experience or event, or from a belief or policy they have challenged, or from a problem they have solved or would like to solve. It is a way for the college admissions staff to take a closer look at the type of person who is submitting the application. This is something admissions officers cannot do simply by looking at standardized test scores, grades, and extracurricular activities.
The final step in crafting a great college essay is to write a concluding paragraph that takes the reader full circle back to the beginning. If possible, the ending should somehow make a connection to the first lines of the essay. While this may sound like an overwhelming task to undertake, students must remember that the maximum word limit for the Common Application essay is 650 words which is a little over six paragraphs. College essays are not long so usually the biggest problem for the student is not in writing a first draft but rather in trying to delete words once the essay is written in order to meet the word limit.
In addition to getting the structure of the essay correct, here are few additional tips to writing a great college essay. A student must give themselves plenty of time to write and to rewrite. A college essay cannot be completed in one evening. And there should be enough time allowed so that a student can finish their first draft, put it down for a week, and then pick it up to read again with fresh eyes. The opportunity to revisit the first draft will give the student the opportunity to see if the essay truly expresses what they want to say. Of course, it is always helpful to have others whose opinion you value read the essay to get their thoughts as well. The student may be attempting to express an idea that does not come across in the way they intended, and a new set of eyes may be able to pick that up.
There is certainly much more that can be written about crafting the college essay—as well as college planning— than is contained in this article, but hopefully some students and their parents will benefit from the suggestions contained here, and maybe even feel a little more motivated to start the process during the summer months before the very busy high school senior school year begins.
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Nina Cannon is a college essay tutor in Scarsdale, New York, a freelance copy editor and proofreader for publishing companies, marketing firms, and not-for-profit corporations, and a former corporate attorney in New York City. Ms. Cannon is the mother of three children who attended the Scarsdale Schools and MIT, Princeton and Bucknell. For further information on Nina Cannon, the college essay writing process, the completion of college applications, and college planning, please see www.cannoncollegeessays.com.
Open Houses in Scarsdale-Sunday August 2
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- Written by Joanne Wallenstein
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Check out these two open houses on Sunday August 2 from 1:00 – 3:00 pm.
68 Popham Road, Scarsdale: Public Open House: Sunday, August 2, 2015 1:00 pm - 3:00pm
Beautiful, sunny French Normandy Tudor less than a 5 minute walk to Scarsdale Village and train station (33 minutes to Grand Central), yet serenely private, nestled behind a picturesque grove of trees. Enter into a stunning, freshly painted interior with gleaming oak floors. Eleven rooms including five bedrooms, three full baths and a powder room. Large leaded 
glass windows provide lots of light and have great views. Fully updated and move-in ready. 2009 gourmet chef's kitchen with marble counters and adjoining breakfast room and pantry/bar area. Top appliances including La Cornue stove, Sub-Zero refrigerator, Miele dishwasher, Sub-Zero wine refrigerator and a warming drawer. Tastefully renovated marble baths. New Vermont slate roof with all copper gutters in 2007. New plumbing throughout. Flat backyard for tranquil enjoyment. Room for 3 cars to park in the driveway in addition to the 2-car tandem garage. A beautiful home in a spectacular, convenient and private location. Learn more here:
List price: $1,695,000
49 Old Army Road, Scarsdale PO, Yonkers: Public Open House: Sunday, August 2, 2015 1:00pm - 3:00pm
Enjoy the convenience of this elegant and spacious 2001 Clapboard Colonial. Beautifully situated up high in the Beech Hill section of Yonkers, this stylish home has lovely views and privacy. Wonderful flow emanating from the 2-story entry hall, you have perfect access to the first floor rooms. The open floor plan allows easy living and is very inviting for entertaining. The large living room and dining room are enhanced by high ceilings. The modern eat-in kitchen features a center island with granite counter top and breakfast bar, plus a breakfast area 
with doors to the patio that overlooks the lush property. Adjoining the kitchen is the family room with cathedral ceiling and fireplace. An added feature is the first floor office or den. The second floor features a master bedroom with en-suite bath and three more bedrooms plus a hall bath. There is also a very spacious loft area overlooking the first floor. The house has been gently lived in and is close to the Scarsdale train and Village. Learn more here:
List Price: $1,200,000
Committee for Historic Preservation to Review Six Applications for Home Demolitions on Tuesday July 21
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- Written by Lori Gertzog
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Scarsdale could lose an additional six homes if the Committee for Historic Preservation cannot find reasons why they should be preserved.
One home on the agenda is a Collet-built 1925 Tudor on .58 acres in Fox Meadow. The 5,805 square foot home has seven bedrooms and 5.1 baths and sits on a sub-dividable lot, where presumably two homes could be built. The home is currently listed for $2,495,000.
According to his obituary from June 11, 1985, Walter J. Collet was a builder "who left a permanent and distinctive imprint on the face of Scarsdale. While living in Scarsdale from 1923 to 1942 Mr. Collet headed the Collete Construction Corp., which built more than 300 custom homes, many of them in the Village.
Some of the best examples of Collet homes can be seen along Carstensan Road, which he developed. The Collets' own home was at 2 Carstensan. The builder, whose traditionally designed homes usually have stone, brick or stucco exteriors, also developed Sherbrook Park and built most of the homes on Dolma Road."
The other homes to be considered are as follows:
- 21 Rectory La. built in 1956
- 110 Brewster Rd. built in 1923
- 30 Tunstall Rd. built in 1925
- 56 Hampton Rd. built in 1954
- 1023 Post Rd. built in 1910
- 1025 Post Rd. built in 1907
Featured Listings:
3 Brookfield Lane, Scarsdale
Extraordinary sun-lit Contemporary with 6953 Square Feet of exquisite interior space filled with skylights and walls of windows located on beautifully landscaped, secluded 1.09 acres in Heathcote at the end of a cul-de-sac. Built in 1987 and creatively renovated and expanded in 1999. Spacious brick circular drive to front door with ample parking for guests. Dramatic entry with 27' vaulted ceiling and herringbone cherry floors. Amazing gourmet kitchen/great room with capacious space for cooking, dining, office work, entertainment and family gatherings. Wrap around deck off kitchen and living room with a second deck off the library. Master suites on first and second floors. Twelve rooms, six bedrooms, six full baths and a powder room. 30' waterfall cascading into a delightful pool surrounded by a flagstone patio. Numerous walk-in closets and custom built-ins. Elevator to all floors. A one-of-a-kind spectacular home perfect for entertaining inside and out. It takes your breath away. For more information, click here.
List Price: $4,500,000
10 Brittany Close, Scarsdale
This extraordinary Colonial with English accents located on Brittany Close, a refined enclave of 12 individually designed homes by award-winning architect, Carol Kurth. Each home is set around a picturesque walking trail and pond amidst a landscaped garden with flowering trees/perennial plantings. The interiors have a decidedly modern feel with finishes/amenities that are the hallmark of the home. A grand center hall highlighted by a custom wrought iron staircase sets the tone for this masterfully built home. Beyond is a living room with fireplace, library, great room, dining room with fireplace and state-of-the-art kitchen with butler's pantry and breakfast room, mud room and rear staircase. Two powder rooms and laundry complete the first floor. Upstairs the grand master suite has a tray ceiling, two walk-in closets, dressing room, and luxurious bath. Four additional bedrooms and three baths, a walk-up attic with huge storage. A lower level with 2337 square feet includes a theatre, bath, two bedrooms, playroom and arts and crafts area. For more information, click here.
List Price: $4,495,000
Open Houses:
10 Morris Lane, Scarsdale
Public Open House: Sunday, July 19, 2015 1:00pm – 4:00pm
This majestic estate is located on a premier block in prestigious Murray Hill. Never before on the market, this gracious Center-Hall Colonial is sited on two glorious acres surrounded by lush rolling lawns and exquisite gardens. A fabulous Gunite pool and adjacent tennis court enhance the luxury lifestyle. The house boasts nine foot ceilings, elegant finishes and quality appointments, including hardwood floors, arched doorways and walls of 
wainscoting creating an aura of grace and elegance. The stunning gourmet kitchen features St. Charles cabinetry, all new stainless steel appliances and a breakfast area that opens to the patio. The floor plan is ideal for convenient everyday living and formal entertaining as the indoor leads seamlessly to the beautiful outdoor spaces. Six bedrooms, five bathrooms and a convenient laundry room complete the second floor. For more information, click here.
List Price: $4,990,000
20 Vernon Road, Scarsdale
Public Open House: Saturday, July 18, 2015, 10:00am – 12:00pm and Sunday, July 19, 2015, 2:00pm – 4:00pm
This home is a WOW. Completely renovated and expanded in 2011 with incredible detail and high end conveniences. Set on a beautiful street on .45 acre this Colonial is over 6000 square feet with seven bedrooms including five bedrooms with four baths on the second floor plus a gym and open play area. First floor has a huge kitchen with center island, breakfast room and a family room, living room with fireplace, large library, formal dining room, Butler's pantry with 98 bottle wine refrigerator, mudroom with bench, cubbies and access to large 2-car garage and backyard, plus first floor guest room and bath. Lower level: large playroom, bedroom and bath plus an 800 bottle wine cellar. Large yard with patio off the kitchen/family room. Perfect floor plan and layout. Great Location: Walk to 2 town parks, bus to all 3 Schools (elementary, middle and high school). Only minutes' drive to Scarsdale Village and train station, shopping and town pool. For more information, click here.
List Price: $2,850,000
Builders Exploit Loophole to Maximize Home Size
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- Written by Joanne Wallenstein
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Are architects and builders using gravel driveways to increase lot coverage in Scarsdale? From a study commissioned by Scarsdale Village, it appears the answer is yes. An analysis of building applications in 2013-2014 shows that though only 10% of existing homes in Scarsdale have gravel driveways, 24.4% of new applications call for the use of gravel surfacing to maximize lot coverage. Since Village Code now treats gravel pervious for zoning purposes, applicants use gravel rather than impervious asphalt surfaces to allow for increased lot coverage and bigger homes. Furthermore, an inconsistency in current village code treats gravel as impermeable for storm water purposes, while defining it as permeable in the zoning code.
The March report finds that "An investigation of recent applications indicates that most building coverages in these applications range from 76% to 96% of the maximum allowable, and gravel surfacing is used to increase proposed lot area coverage from 100% to 140% of the maximum allowable." (Meaning lot coverage would be 140% if the gravel was considered as impervious.)
She said, "Lot coverage has expanded over time and has expanded beyond what was envisioned in the original code. This has a direct effect on community character, and reduces green space. As you walk down the street there is a perception that the amount of pavement and non-natural material is becoming larger and larger."
The consultant discussed a report that showed that most other local communities consider all driveways impervious, whether they are gravel or asphalt.
The Scarsdale Board of Trustees sought to address expanding lot coverage by passing a moratorium on building applications that use gravel surfaces to maximize lot coverage. The moratorium went into effect in February 2015 and was recently extended until October 2015 to give the BOT time to study the issue.
At a July 21 meeting of the Law and Land Use Committee of the Board of Trustees, the consultant, the village planner and the board discussed whether or not to move forward with passing a resolution to make the moratorium a permanent part of village code. The Planning Board held two work sessions and a public hearing on the proposed code change.
They discussed the fact that if the new law is passed, some existing homes with gravel driveways would no longer conform to Village Code. However, the consultants estimated that at most 25% of homes with gravel driveways would become non-conforming and could be grandfathered.
In a discussion about the proposed change, architect Bana Choura said, "There will be side effects in design. On wetlands there will be no room for driveways. It would be impossible to have a long driveway leading to a garage on the side and it would be difficult to have a "decent size" house.
Dan Steinberg from the Planning Board said, " Bana's comment reflects the knowledge that architects and developers have of this loophole that allows for larger houses. There is knowledge that we have this provision that we can exploit.
Her comment highlights the fact that we have this loophole."
The consultant said, "It's a balancing act. It will take architects and builders time to get used to it. It may mean that swimming pools get smaller – or it may mean that houses get smaller to accommodate outside features such as pools or tennis courts. One can always go back and increase and decrease."
Following the discussion, the committee voted unanimously to move it forward to schedule a public hearing on the proposed change.
Sunday, July 12 Open Houses
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- Written by Lori Gertzog
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Open Houses:
4 Parkfield Road, Scarsdale
Public Open House: Sunday, July 12, 2015 1:00pm – 3:00pm
Better than new Colonial in Fox Meadow. This six-bedroom, six-and-a-half bath home was expanded and renovated in 2014. Almost everything is NEW. The fabulous first floor layout has great flow for entertaining and features a new family room with vaulted ceiling, which opens to the gourmet kitchen. Only two steps up to the original master bedroom with bath, plus two bedrooms and bath. The new second floor addition adds a luxurious master suite and two more 
bedrooms, each with their own bath. Study with brick fireplace. Large mudroom. 2-car garage. Finished basement with bath, playroom, room and laundry room. Oak floors throughout. New in 2014: high efficiency furnace, AC units, Hardiplank siding and stone work, Anderson casement windows, Anderson doors, roof, four full bathrooms with Toto and Kohler fixtures, newly painted interior and exterior. Convenient location - close to Metro North train, shopping, dining, elementary and high schools. Free bus to Middle School. Square footage does not include 750 square foot playroom. For more information, click here.
List Price: $2,250,000
20 East Taunton Road, Scarsdale
Public Open House: Sunday, July 12, 2015 2:00pm – 4:00pm
Impressive, classic brick Center Hall French Colonial with great curb appeal. Located in the sought after Crane Berkley location of Scarsdale which is close to village, train, schools and parks. Located on a cul-de-sac, this nicely appointed home features fine architectural detail, gleaming hardwood floors and generously sized 
rooms. The sweeping staircase welcomes you into the living room with fireplace, large windows and access to the private wrap around terrace. Additional 756 square feet finished space in lower level not reflected in square footage. For more information, click here.
List Price: $1,595,000
7 Warnke Lane, Scarsdale PO, Edgemont
Public Open House: Sunday, July 12, 2015 12:00pm – 1:30pm
Bright Edgemont Contemporary Ranch with open floor plan on park-like 1/2 acre property within walking distance to elementary school and commuter bus to train. Some special features include: renovated kitchen and baths, mostly new windows, new garage door, cathedral ceiling, large 2 tier deck, skylights, and built-in basketball/play area. Freshly painted inside and out 
and decks recently stained. This is the perfect place for entertaining and/or peaceful relaxation. For more information, click here.
List Price: $985,000
All listings from Houlihan Lawrence in Scarsdale. See more homes here.
