Is Your Child Over-Coached?
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Its spring time again! And kids are outside playing, often on organized teams. It ought to be fun, but sometimes issues arise. Here are your questions about sports and coaching with answers from Backyard Sports.
Question: Our son is in elementary school and he loves playing basketball with friends in our driveway. We encouraged him to join the basketball program at school, but it's not quite what we expected. There are a lot of coaching drills, but little "free-play" and this is frustrating our son who just wants to play. Do you think our child may not be ready for an organized team sport?
Answer: It's a great question. The truth is, we need to approach coaching in the reverse order. When kids are young they should be exploring. That's the time when they should be developing creativity. As a child reaches the upper grades, especially high school, and wants to take his sport skills to the next level, that's when you really need a coach. That's when the value of a coach's guidance is key, because he can bring the athlete's ability to a level that could not be achieved alone.
The main reason why parents are so critical of coaches when their child is in high school is because our sports model in the US involves so much coaching from the get-go. The idea of an iconic coach doesn't exist anymore because kids have had so many coaches over a long development process.
Here's an example: Although it's popular internationally, soccer has never broken through to an elite level in the United States the way it has in Europe or South America. Why not? Because in the US we put too much emphasis on drills and coaching. Conversely, in Europe and South America, the kids are not coached; they are left to basically dance with a soccer ball. The idea of watching an American youth program play freely or play with that sense of exploration and creativity doesn't exist. Our kids are thrown into laps and lines at a very, very young age and they don't know how to play naturally.
The Big Takeaway: Sports is about playing freely and bringing a group of individuals together cohesively. The coach is responsible for creating that environment. The players' job is to learn to love the game and athletically express themselves at a very high level.
Question: My child is very shy and we thought that joining a team sport might be a way to get her out of her shell. Can a shy, introverted child flourish in a competitive sports environment?
Answer: First we need to understand that a team is comprised of young players with differing levels of ability and unique personalities. The model of a successful team is one where all those unique individuals can come together in harmony. Not everyone is going to be a leader. Not everyone is going to be a superstar. Not everyone is going to have that kind of flamboyant take charge personality. There's room on teams for kids across the temperament and personality spectrum.
I think more than anything, the notion of a shy child being unsuccessful on a playing field is a manifestation of skewed parental observations. Parents see attention and accolades going to the assertive or extroverted kids or to players who are scoring the goals and lose confidence in their shy reserved child's ability to compete. But not everyone is a goal scorer. We have role players on teams. It takes those role players to make a team successful.
That said, a great program or a great coach will recognize shyness in a young player. The right program and coach will shepherd that kid so she finds HER role and makes her feel successful in the environment, which aligns with who she is and what her ability level is.
The Big Takeaway: Once the child is accepted among her teammates and sees firsthand that she can play this sport, interact with other kids and do well in her own way, it's a wonderful benefit for the child. That's the success of the playing field. That's where we see the skills learned between the lines positively affecting a child's life outside the lines. The idea of getting out of ones comfort zone without fear of making a mistake translates to so many other aspects of a child's life. They are going to remember that lesson and apply it to their schoolwork, their relationships and their career. They're going to have more confidence in themselves.
Question: My daughter plays basketball and her team recently added a new coach. The change has been difficult because the new coach has a style that is incompatible with my daughter's personality. She often feels berated and alienated. How should we deal with this?
Answer: Nothing can inhibit a child's experience more than a difficult relationship with a coach. In a previous generation, we had our fair share of Little League Dad's who, through their inexperience or gruff behavior, made the exercise miserable for everyone. However, at that time, the consequences weren't as severe, because we had a chance to play ball on our own the other six days of the week. Today, given the extended commitment of sports and lack of "free play," the relationship with a coach takes on an added degree of importance.
What is a parent to do when the child feels compromised, alienated, or worse, bullied by a team coach? I recently read a post by John Sullivan on his Changing the Game blog about this specific situation. I admire and support the manner in which Sullivan turns this issue into a positive conversation that can be addressed both with the child and the offending coach. I recommend reading the post and taking initiative on his concrete steps for arranging a meeting with your child's coach, as well as setting realistic expectations on the outcome of the conversation.
Click here for more FAQ's and answers from Backyard Sports.
Village Seeks Volunteers to Serve on Boards and Councils
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- Written by Joanne Wallenstein
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The Personnel Committee of the Village Board of Trustees has announced vacancies on the following Boards, Councils and Committees:
- Cable Television Commission
- Conservation Advisory Council
- Committee for Historic Preservation
- Council on People with Disabilities
- Advisory Council on Human Relations
- Scarsdale Arts Council
Trustee Jane Veron, Chair of the Personnel Committee, encourages residents to apply for these positions by submitting their names, together with a listing of community service and relevant professional background. It is also helpful for Scarsdale residents to recommend other residents for consideration. Please submit contact information including email addresses. The information may be submitted in one of two ways:
Via the Village Website – At www.scarsdale.com, click "read more" under:
* Volunteers Needed for Boards and Councils (located under Village News on the home page). On the next screen, complete the on-line application form under "Boards and Councils Applications" and follow the on-screen instructions.
Via Village Hall – Applications should be forwarded to Trustee Jane Veron at Village Hall, 1001 Post Road, Scarsdale NY 10583.
Residents should feel free to contact the Village Clerk, Donna Conkling at 914-722-1175 or via e-mail dconkling@scarsdale.com for further information.
Pursuant to the general policy adopted by the Village Board, guidelines for membership on Scarsdale's appointed Boards, Councils and Committees cover four areas:
1. Residency: Boards, Committees and Advisory Councils are comprised of residents of the Village. While comments from outside the community can be sought as needed, actions recommended or taken by Boards, Committees and Advisory Councils should ultimately reflect the views of Village residents.
2. Professional or Business Affiliation: Various professional skills and training are required by Village law or deemed desirable by the Village Board of Trustees for the successful fulfillment of some Board, Council or Committee charters.
3. Civic Interest and Involvement: The majority of the members of Village Boards and Councils are appointed by reason of demonstrated interest in Village affairs, through volunteer involvement. Scarsdale is the beneficiary of a long history of voluntary civic endeavors. Since the overriding purpose of Boards, Committees and Councils is to assure the continuation of high community standards, it is appropriate that members on Boards, Committees and Councils be those residents who have demonstrated willingness and initiative to work in support of this objective.
4. Specialized Knowledge: Certain Boards, Committees and Councils benefit by having one or more members with specialized knowledge. For example, the Land Use Boards (Board of Appeals, Planning Board, and Board of Architectural Review) benefits from the services of residents with a background in architecture, architectural design or engineering; the Cable Television Commission benefits by having people with knowledge of the communications industry; the Advisory Council on People With Disabilities benefits from the experience of residents with disabilities; the Advisory Council on Youth benefits from people who have worked with young people; and the Advisory Council on Parks and Recreation benefits from having a parent active in the Recreation Department's Elementary School Sports Program.
Applications should be made in writing and should include information on the candidates' civic involvement, work experience or other qualifications in sufficient detail to help the Village Board evaluate the prospective candidate. Applications should be submitted via the Village website or sent to Trustee Jane Veron at Village Hall, 1001 Post Road, Scarsdale, NY 10583.
The following are the terms of office, and responsibilities for members appointed to the aforementioned Boards, Councils and Committees:
CABLE TELEVISION COMMISSION - (5 years, open-ended terms) Works with the Village's Cable Coordinator to develop interesting and creative public access programming for Scarsdale Public Television (SPTV -- channels 42/76) and Scarsdale Government Television (SGTV -- channels 43/75). Assists with the training of volunteers and works within the Scarsdale Community to raise awareness and increase resident participation. Advises the Village Board of Trustees with regard to cable television policy. Negotiates the renewal of cable franchise agreements with cable providers. Commissioners are expected to attend monthly meetings.
CONSERVATION ADVISORY COUNCIL - (2 years, open-ended terms). Advises the Village Board on such matters as programs, areas, facilities, public relations and other matters pertaining to environmental sustainability. The Conservation Advisory Council is currently engaged in a
study regarding the appropriate design and installations of solar panels in residential zoning districts.
COMMITTEE FOR HISTORIC PRESERVATION - (3 years, two terms). Determines if a structure located in the Village for which a permit for demolition has been requested is a structure of historical importance.
ADVISORY COUNCIL ON PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES - (2 years, open-ended terms). Advises and assists the Village Board in matters of concern to residents with disabilities. Assists with programs and activities, increases public awareness of the needs of the disabled, acts as liaison with other Advisory Councils and promotes participation in community affairs by disabled persons.
ADVISORY COUNCIL ON HUMAN RELATIONS - (2 years, open-ended terms). Considers and recommends actions at the request of the Village Board to foster mutual respect and understanding among all members of the community.
REPRESENTATIVE TO SCARSDALE ARTS COUNCIL - (2 years, open-ended terms). At-large representative (total of 4 appointed by the Mayor) to the Scarsdale Arts Council Board. The Council's mission is to encourage the arts to flourish in Scarsdale by, among other methods, improving communication among arts programs and by attracting grant support and to raise public awareness and participation in the arts.
Voices Emerge in Favor of a New School at Greenacres
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After strong opposition from Greenacres residents who wanted to preserve Greenacres Field, the Scarsdale School Board appeared to have closed the door on option C, which was to build of build a new Greenacres Elementary school on the field. However, at a May 4 School Board meeting, a new group of people emerged supporting a plan to build the new school. Though they appeared late in the game, there was a vocal group who asked the Board to re-consider.
The first to speak was Jennifer Corriggio from Brite Avenue. Corriggio urged the board to make the children's education their first priority when deciding between Option B1 and Option C. She explained that Option B1 seemed like a "band aid" to the problem, and that Option C seemed like the better solution. Corriggio explained that the people most affected by this decision are the children, who are mostly voiceless throughout this process. Mitchell Kahn from Brewster Road also spoke out in favor of Option C. Kahn started his speech apologizing to the board on behalf of the community for the last public hearing, where, "people came up and screamed at [the board], I think that's completely unacceptable". Kahn urged the board to consider Option C as the best option. Kahn explained that the people who have, "banded around the field" must reevaluate the priority of the project. "We are talking about [losing] one baseball field versus [gaining] a school that is designed for the 21st century". In addition, Kahn argued that Option B1 could have serious risks for the children attending Greenacres School during the construction. "You're introducing a possibility of dangerous chemicals to small children and... you're asking five to twelve year old kids to live through a construction project for two to three years".
Rona Muntner from Fairview Road also came
out to speak in support of Option C. She argued that gaining "beautiful new fields and a state of the art building" outweighs the detriments of losing the existing field. She explained that people who live in Scarsdale, "are here for the schools", and that we should prioritize the school over the field. Muntner reasoned that our New York climate and cold winters do not allow the children to be out in the field for most of the school year, so most of their time is spent inside the building. She believes the current building does not have enough open space for the children, and renovating the current building would mean even less space. "There will be dust and noise the children will be living through for half of their elementary school experience". Rona's husband Michael Muntner also spoke to support option C. He pleaded for the children's safety to become a priority in the process. "No one has any intentions of doing anything wrong... But there are chemicals that come out [during gut renovations] that you have no idea". Mr. Muntner explained that the construction in the same building as the children could mean serious risks. He also asked of the board that the community be given a comparison of the two projects side by side. "Let's make an informed decision understanding all of the risks and rewards and all of the facts."
Amy Hosseinbukus also supported the reconsidering and reopening of Option C. She explained, "The dropping of option C is lamentable". She explained her confusion over the support of the field, when the school needs so much work. She urged the community and the board to question "why we would pick renovating and retooling something" over building an entirely new school. Hosseinbukus stressed that she, "thanks god that [her] kids will be out of Greenacres" by the time the construction starts. She argued that "to study and learn under the conditions that you're asking [the children] do for years... is more than unfortunate".
Many people discussed the popular petition to save the Greenacres school that now has over 850 signatures. Madeline Hauptman from Brewster Road has been one of the most vocal advocates for preserving the existing Greenacres school. Hauptman created a sign when the issue was first presented to the community, which many Greenacres families have displayed in their yards. The sign urges the district to "Keep the green in Greenacres". During this public hearing she urged the board to consider that "the people who have no kids are not represented" in the decision whether to rebuild Greenacres. Hauptman reiterated that the petition has gained huge weight in the community, with "more than half the community" supporting it. Hauptman urged the board to consider the opinions of those who have no kids in the Greenacres school.
Michael Muntner, who spoke after Hauptman, respectfully disagreed with Hauptman's conclusion that those with no kids should be equally represented. He explained that, the "person with the loudest voice who created a sign has the least vested interest in the actual school itself". Muntner debated that the board should primarily consider the safety and education of the children. Mitchell Kahn also spoke about Hauptman's petition, claiming that those who signed did not have all of the information. "The petition that was signed was signed before there was any other option available... nobody knew that the other option was to renovate that building", explained Kahn. He reiterated that people signed the petition in order to work on an option that preserved as much field space as possible, and not in support of Option C. Kahn explained that many people who originally signed the petition have written to him regretting their decision to oppose Option C. Wendy Shi from Brewster Road expressed a similar sentiment as Mr. Kahn. Shi explained that she originally signed the petition to preserve the existing field, not understanding the alternative. "I realized I shouldn't have signed the petition. And I asked a lot of other moms who signed the petition, and they regret they did it also", explained Shi. "We will sign another petition to save our children, instead of saving the field".
Peter Gelfman from Brite Avenue spoke to oppose Option C. Gelfman recognized that many people had come to support Option C at this board meeting, however they had not been present at the other meetings. Gelfman explained that there were two prior "well publicized" hearings before the May 4th hearing, and that the board should be able to "draw their conclusions as to the sentiment of the community" from the prior hearings where many opposed Option C. Gelfman debated that Option B1 is cheaper and will overall allow the entire community to improve. "With B1 you are able to help Greenacres... and also help the other areas". "Option B1 makes the most sense for the children and for the community", said Gelfman. Barbara Wenglin from Brewster Road also spoke in support of Option B1. She explained that the proposed renovations can adequately update the school to fit the guidelines. "We can bring the model program that we all aspire to for the future of our kids by doing a thoughtful and thorough renovation and expansion". Gregory Loten from Montrose Road echoed this opinion, stating,"We can achieve a great education for our kids in a renovated building".
Gabriel Streche from Brewster Road was last to speak. He urged the board to hear more community feedback before making a final decision. Streche debated that out of the 921 households in Greenacres, the board has only heard from a relatively small percentage of those families. Streche claimed that even though at the last two hearings those against Option C were aggressively protesting, that does not necessarily reflect the views of the community. "What a group of the most vocal people want is not what the community wants". Streche urged the board to survey all of the households in Greenacres, and make a final decision based on these findings instead.
Show your Pride with a Raiders Lawn Sign
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- Written by Joanne Wallenstein
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Maroon and White, the parent booster organization for Scarsdale athletics, is celebrating their 50th birthday this spring. There is still time to show your support by purchasing and displaying a Raiders lawn sign. Featuring the Raiders logo, these are now on sale for $50 and can be ordered here. (Under IRS guidelines the estimated value of the sign is not substantial. The full amount of your payment is therefore a deductible contribution). Signs will be delivered around May 1.
Open Houses for April 30 - May 1
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- Written by Lori Gertzog
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Open Houses:
8 Murray Hill Road, Scarsdale
Saturday 4/30, 1-4pm
Price reduced on grand Murray Hill estate. Walk to High School and Library; 5 minute drive to Village. Gracious Entrance Hall, Formal grand sized living room with fireplace, formal dining room. Library with wet bar. Custom Chef's kitchen with all high end appliances and Granite counters. Six bedrooms, six full and two half baths. MBR suite with his and her spa bath and rainfall shower, fireplace, dressing room, walk in closet, office/sitting room. High ceilings, distinctive period details and abundant windows throughout. Convenience of Elevator and two sets of back stairs. LR, DR and Library lead to deck for ideal flow for entertaining. Two-car attached garage. Beautifully landscaped .7 acres with private fenced-in yard, salt 
water, self-cleaning, heated gunite pool, professional putting green and expansive double tiered deck. Great opportunity to live in highly desired Murray Hill. For more information, click here.
List Price: $2,600,000
5 Fox Meadow Road, Scarsdale
Sunday 5/1, 3-4:30pm
Picturesque, sun-filled and airy Colonial perfectly
located in coveted Fox Meadow. Set on .29 acres of lush property, this residence is an easy stroll to Scarsdale village, shops, restaurants and Metro North train (32 minutes to Grand Central Terminal). This beautiful home has been impeccably renovated over time with the finest materials and quality of care. Enjoy spacious rooms including family room with high ceilings and fireplace with new mantle. Eat-in kitchen with high-end appliances, den/office with built-ins, new crown moldings, wall mounted lighting in the dining room, master bedroom with dressing area, luxurious master bath. Highlights include gorgeous, solid oak hardwood flooring throughout, multiple built-ins. The property features recent extensive landscaping that includes new bluestone patio and stone wall, cobblestone pavers surrounded by mature evergreens offering great privacy. This is the perfect combination of stylish living and a great location. Make this home yours! For more information, click here.
List Price: $1,895,000
130 Carthage Road, Scarsdale
Sunday 5/1, 12-2pm
Bright, updated and expanded Ranch home on 2/3rds of an acre in the Heathcote section of Scarsdale. Close to the Scarsdale pool, Crossway field and tennis, elementary school. This home with open floor plan has large spaces for comfortable living and easy entertaining. The large entry foyer opens to the living room, the gourmet kitchen which boasts quality cabinets, professional style appliances and large center island, and is completely open to a big family room on one side and dining room on the other. There is a fantastic deck overlooking the property beyond the dining room. The paneled den has a fireplace, and there is a covered porch as well. Additionally on the main floor is a wonderful master bedroom with large master bath and generous closets, two additional bedrooms and full bath as well. Upstairs are two bedrooms, and a full bath and the lower level has a big laundry area, playroom with natural light, storage and garage. For more information, click here.
List Price: $1,895,000
81 Walworth Avenue, Scarsdale
Sunday 5/1, 1-3pm
Vintage sun drenched Mediterranean Gem in desirable Greenacres brimming with details offers 9' ceilings, hardwood floors, meticulously restored windows, built-ins, doors, moldings and hardware and is lovingly maintained with a host of thoughtful and energy efficient updates in keeping with the its' architectural grace and spirit. Fabulous oversized kitchen (2001)complete with outfitted butler's pantry complements the formal dining room, inviting Library and gracious Living Room which has a handsome beamed ceiling, an impressive Rumford fireplace and leaded glass built ins. With a stylish outdoor loggia, stone patios and perennial gardens to enjoy, this seven bedroom jewel of a home, offers comfortable elegance with delightful privacy yet a most convenient location with train, school and shops all within a short stroll. A great opportunity to own this special much loved home in most desirable Greenacres! For more information, click here.
List Price: $1,778,000
14 Beechwood Lane, Scarsdale
Sunday 5/1, 2:30-4:30pm
Classic stone and shingle center hall Colonial on tranquil cul-de-sac in Sherbrooke Park. This four bedroom home has incredible curb appeal with great architectural features like a slate roof, bay windows, updates, and central air. The generous backyard is level and very private. A great home. For more information, click here.
List Price: $1,375,000
