Your Life and the News: How to Talk to Your Kids About Osama bin Laden
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We went to sleep early Sunday night; the kids wore us out that day and we missed the news. At around 12:45 in the morning the baby cried waking my nearly 5-year-old daughter who crawled into bed with us. Out of habit, I checked my iPhone for messages. It’s from working in a newsroom all those years, I have a paranoia of sleeping through a big story. And for once I did. Not that it matters, I’m home now.
“Mike,” I whisper. “Mike.” My husband is out cold.
“What Mommy?” My daughter Kate wedged between us still awake asks me. I had to share the news with someone.
“The U.S. caught a bad guy, Kate. It’s really good news.”
“What did the bad guy look like, Mommy?”
“He was tall and had a long beard, baby, now go to sleep.”
Kate turns over and falls back asleep and I carry her back to her bed.
I, of course check Twitter before going back to sleep.
About 6 hours later, we’re both up. Mike is on his way to the office, I’m watching the Today show in bed. Kate walks in to my room just as Osama bin Laden’s face appears on TV.
“That’s the bad guy, right?” Her eyes are wide, a bit fearful but brave.
I suddenly have a vivid memory of being about 12 years old and seeing a picture of Ayatollah Khomeni’s corpse at his funeral. My eyes must have looked the same.
I know what’s coming next.
“What did he do?”
Just a few weeks back she was asking why all those people got hurt from the water in Japan. I’m sure in time she’ll ask another hard question about something else.
I answer her in what I call muted honesty.
“That man was jealous of all the freedom we have, and he hurt a lot of people here in America.”
“Is he in jail?”
“No,” I pause. “He’s dead. You don’t have to worry that that bad guy will ever hurt anyone again.”
“He’s scary. Can we watch Curious George now?”
So we change the station, but I can’t stop thinking about what’s she’s feeling now. Did I screw up?
Figuring others may be having similar conversations at home, I spoke to Brenda Stern, a Certified Social Worker. She runs a program with Westchester Reform Temple’s Early Childhood Program as well as a private practice.
“No matter the age of your child, it’s our job as parents to protect them. That may mean in some cases turning the TV off if it becomes too much.”
Stern explains that with young children, keep answers to questions childlike and simple. You can equate bin Laden to the big bad wolf and just say that he hurt people. Sometimes kids this age aren’t asking so much and just need a simple answer.
“With school-age children, ask them if they want to talk about it or not at first. Sometimes they aren’t ready to talk about it. You can take a situation like this to talk about what our values are as a society. Ask them what they think. Also be aware of what they are asking.” Stern says. She adds that in a highly educated community such as ours, we tend to overshare, overtalk and assume our kids are ready for that, and quite often they are not.
With teens, she says, get their perspective and get them talking first.
“We get into monologues on these issues and it’s nice to have a dialogue. Even with the older ones we don’t want it to be too much gore. Kids reduce things to black and white; talking can get them to think more about the grey areas.
She concludes; “You always want to gauge the information verses the anxiety it causes your child. Cut off the content if you sense they are worrying too much. Always reassure them they are safe, of course that may not always be true, but you need to provide comfort and reassurance to your child.”
Someday my kids will learn about the tragedy of September 11th; that they have a grandfather who lost friends that day too numerous to count. That their father saw bodies fall from the buildings and ran as fast as he could when the towers fell. Someday, a long time from now, they will know these horrible things and the evil that was Osama bin Laden. For now, at least, my older one knows we caught a bad guy on Sunday and it’s a good thing.
Jen is a freelance journalist who has covered the economy and markets for over a decade at a major financial news outlet. She lives in Scarsdale with her husband and 2 children. Jen has yet to bake a successful batch of cookies.
NYT Times Columnist and Author Perri Klass Comes to Edgemont
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The Edgemont PTSA is excited to bring Dr. Perri Klass to their next Parent Forum on Thursday, May 5th in Edgemont High School's LGI room at 7:30 pm. Dr. Klass's talk entitled "Live with Perri Klass, MD: Prescriptions for Practical Parenting" will combine medicine and motherhood, two topics not often discussed together.
Dr. Klass is a professor of journalism and pediatrics at NYU, as well as author of several books including "Every Mother is a Daughter: the Neverending Quest for Success, Inner Peace, and a Really Clean Kitchen" and "The Mercy Rule." Additionally she writes the New York Times weekly column, "18 and Under." She is also President and Medical Director of "Reach Out and Read," a national literacy organization which works through doctors and nurses to promote parents reading aloud to young children. She attended Harvard Medical School and completed her residency in pediatrics at Children's Hospital, Boston, and her fellowship in pediatric infectious diseases at Boston City Hospital. She is also a mother of three children.
Dr. Klass gives wonderful practical advice to parents such as "acknowledge that parenthood is full of battles to lose" and "as children achieve autonomy they will carry our voice in their heads, then they will leave us behind." She urges parents to help children grow up to be strong and independent as they journey though their lives. Dr. Klass will discuss sources of stress in teenager's lives such as sleep deprivation and depression. The accomplished author lectures frequently and is a very warm, reassuring speaker and invites the audience to raise questions about raising children in today's complex world. As a pediatrician and a mother, Dr. Klass always looks at both sides of any adolescent concerns with refreshing candor.
The event is being organized by Laura Puhala, PTSA Vice President for Parent Forums. Laura heard about Dr. Klass from a fellow PTSA board member who had read Dr. Klass's recent New York Times column that discussed how to deal with your children’s questions about your own adolescence. Laura reached out to Dr. Klass and invited her to speak at Edgemont. She hopes that many parents from Edgemont and Scarsdale will attend this free event.
In the past the PTSA Parent Forums have hosted a wide array of speakers from Westchester DA, Janet DiFiore to Former Greenburgh Chief of Police Kapica to the author of "Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager," Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D. Recently, Laura organized a showing of the film, "Race to Nowhere," followed by a panel discussion of Edgemont guidance counselors, psychologists and the high school athletic director. That event drew over 250 parents, residents and teachers. The PTSA also hosts an annual fall parent forum for parents to meet new key personnel at the junior/senior high school and a spring parent forum on the school budget where administrators and BOE members discuss the proposed school budget.
At the end of the parent forum, Dr. Klass will sign copies of her books that will be available for sale that evening or can be pre-ordered by contacting Laura Puhala at puh4@aol.com .
Live with Perri Klass, MD: Prescriptions for Practical Parenting
Thursday, May 5, 2011
7:30 PM
Edgemont High School LGI Room
Enroll Now for Scarsdale Rec Camp
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Spring may be suffering from a slow start, but summer is just around the corner. Early registration for Scarsdale town recreational camp began this week. Serving approximately 900 campers, the Recreation Department offers a summer program for Scarsdale children entering grades Kindergarten through Eighth Grade. Director Jim Andreski, a teacher at Scarsdale Middle School, runs the program with four returning Assistant Directors. The program is divided into four different camps by age:
- Camp Sagamore for campers entering Kindergarten housed at Greenacres School
- Camp Lenape for First Graders at Edgewood
- Camp Wapetuck for Second Graders at Quaker Ridge
- Camp Patthunke for Third-Eighth graders housed at the High School.
Suzanne Busby, Superintendent of Scarsdale’s recreation and parks department says that typically Sagamore and Lenape have the largest enrollments.
Older kids have the option of doing a combination package where they attend morning sports or soccer camp and then Camp Patthunke in the afternoon. Those campers also have the opportunity to register for one specialty elective that meets once a week for an additional fee. In the past, those electives have included horseback riding and golf.
The kids go to the pool once a day and take part in all the best things about camp from sports to arts and crafts to talent shows and the occasional day trip. They do this all close to home and with current and future classmates. Ideally, the friendships formed at camp will last throughout the school year.
Parents, get to enjoy the amazing value the camp offers. For those who register before May 6, camp costs $805 for the full summer, $955 when you register after that date. There are weekly options should you not need to the full five weeks. Transportation is also available for those who want it for an additional cost.
One thing that is new this year that Busby wants parents to be aware of is an enrollment deadline. A camper must be registered before June 17th to guarantee a full summer. Any registration received after that date is not guaranteed and the camper will have to wait until the second week of camp to begin. Busby explains that this new policy will ensure that the camp is properly staffed to keep the counselor to camper ratios at optimal levels.
Indeed, the weak in the economy over the past few years lead to a rise in rec camp enrollments.
“Two years ago when the economy was really at it’s worst we did see camp enrollment rise as well as at the teen camp,” Busby recalls. And while they didn’t track retention rate numbers for the campers, surveys the department conducted showed families in town gave the camp high marks.
The economy may be improving, but in many cases, the job market remains soft. That means the camp has their pick for counselors, which as Suzanne Busby tells it, can make for some hard choices;
“We hire up to 500 people for the summer, which is a lot. But what we are seeing is that a lot of college kids aren’t getting the jobs or the internships in the city that they once were. So they are applying for jobs with us. We’ve been able to hire then older counselors for the camp, which at times can make for difficult choices since there are so many good applicants.”
The town wants the residents to know that value does not mean compromised safety. The staff members have years of experience with children and each counselor is over the age of 16 and interviewed personally by the camp director. The entire camp staff has a 2-day orientation, with certain counselors trained in CPR, First Aid and EpiPen. A certified EMT is on staff at each camp.
Speaking of the value, some parents may think that there is a catch since the cost is so low. Not really. The town camp has use of the school facilities whereas private day camps have to run their own, which cuts down on costs. The use of the town pool also keeps costs low. The town camp purpose is to provide a service for its residents, not to make a profit. One catch, campers must bring a lunch from home each day.
New this summer: A family no longer has to belong to the pool for their child to attend the camp and enjoy swimming there.
One additional option for students entering sixth through ninth grade: A teen travel camp for those who want to get off the fields and experience something different each day. The excursions include trips to water-parks, ball games and tours in the city. Suzanne Busby says registration is nearly full, so if you are interested jump in. It’s on a first come, first serve basis.
Now all we need is some warm weather.
To learn more, look for the link to Parent Guide or sign up online here.
Jen is a freelance journalist who has covered the economy and markets for over a decade at a major financial news outlet. She lives in Scarsdale with her husband and 2 children. Jen has yet to bake a successful batch of cookies.
Job Interview Tips for Teens
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As the summer approaches and teens start looking for summer jobs and internships, they’ll be faced with a new challenge: how do you prepare for your first job interview so you’ll make a good first impression with your prospective boss.
Carole Jabbawy, Ed.D. is the founder of Internship Connection, a school-to-career program for high school and college students. Dr. Jabbawy has established summer internships for students from the Westchester area for many years and offers the following tips:
- Learn about the company or professional office where you will be interviewing, through an internet search and/or the company website. Jot down a few questions to ask during the interview.
- Role play with a parent or friend using the following questions that are often asked in interviews: Tell me about yourself. How would your teachers describe you? Why do you want to work here? What would you say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Can you give me an example of a time you were a team player? Tell me about a time you had a problem and how you solved it. Do you have any questions?
- Do a dry run going to the office a few days before the interview, using the same type of transportation that you will use for your appointment. This way, you will be comfortable and able to judge your timing.
- Dress professionally in “business casual.” For boys: pants (not jeans), a button down shirt and shoes. For girls: slacks or a skirt or dress of modest length.
- Bring along the following information: company name, address, phone number, name of person interviewing you, and traveling directions. Do not try to memorize.
- Plan to arrive 10-15 minutes early and then enter the building a few minutes before the interview time.
- Follow proper etiquette. Make sure your cell phone is turned off. Never answer a call during an interview. Do not eat, smoke or chew gum. Make sure your hair isn’t falling in your face.
- Greet your interviewer with a smile, eye contact and a firm handshake. Answer questions directly. Do not ramble on. Show interest and enthusiasm.
- Refer to one or two things you found interesting on the company’s website. Talk about your interests and how they relate to this company. Be prepared to ask a few questions about the company.
- At the end of the interview, ask for their business card. This is important contact information for the future.
- After the interview, send a thank you email or even better, a handwritten note.
Preparing for an interview will give you confidence as you walk through the door whether you are in high school, college, or beyond.
Dr. Carole Jabbawy is the Founder and Director of Internship Connection www.internshipconnection.com. A former teacher and Professor of Education, she has been establishing internships in Boston and New York City for High School, College and Gap Year students for the last eight years.
Young Writers Share Stories at March 26 Workshop
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Where do writers look for inspiration to create their stories, and what are the elements of a great story? These are just a few of the questions that an enthusiastic group of 440 third, fourth and fifth graders examined at the Young Writers' Workshop on Saturday March 26th. Every seat in the Scarsdale Middle School auditorium was filled for the opening of this optional event; a sign of the strength of the commitment to the written word.
The morning opened with a keynote address from Gail Carson Levine , author of Ella Enchanted, a Newbery Honor Book. She involved the young writers in an exploration of the creative process and someone managed to engage an overflowing audience of kids ages nine to eleven.
From there, each child attended two workshops previously selected from a list of 45 offerings. Topics ranged from investigative reporting, mystery writing and journal writing to fashion writing, covering breaking news and writing for television.
The staff of instructors was impressive, and the workshop brought together not only writers, but actors, comedians,
Suzan Colon, author of Cherries in Winter: My Family’s Recipe for Hope in Hard Times taught a class on writing memoirs. Her most recent book tells the story of how her grandmother’s recipes helped the family to endure the depression.
Bookmaker Karen Reetz has her own bookbinding studio and led the group through the art of making a book.
A group from the new Picture House in Pelham was on hand to help students learn to be film critics and to translate
Drama teacher, writer and actor Erika Radin chaired a session on creating great characters. Students were charged with creating a memorable character and then writing a monologue to perform. Her cabaret, “Mom’s the Word” will
Digital innovator Gail Horwood taught a class called App Happy, analyzing was some Apps are just good and others are amazing. Then the group learned how to create their own App.
Writer Yishane Lee taught “The Art of the Interview.” Lee regularly interviews chefs, Broadway stars and Olympic athletes and worked with the students on how to ask the right questions.
In addition to the talented staff, 120 parent volunteers and 27 student volunteers helped to make the day run like clockwork. Congratulations to Leesa Suzman and her team on an extraordinary event.
