Coping with Anxiety
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This article was contributed by Psychologist William Golden who is a member of the Westchester County Psychological Association:
We live in a time where there are many things that can scare us. Every day, we and our children are faced with stress, fears and worries. Some of the stressors are the day to day challenges such as those from work and school. But we are also bombarded on a daily basis by the media about threats from terrorists such as ISIS and diseases like Ebola. There is no escaping the stream of information flowing through the radio, TV and the internet that is guaranteed to scare even the bravest of us. There is also no way of insulating our children from the information that creeps into their consciousness through their smart phones and social media. What are we to do about all of this information overload? How can we cope with the anxiety that is produced by world events and the stresses of everyday life? There has been a great deal of progress made in the field of psychology on our understanding of stress and anxiety. There are now a number of psychological techniques that have been developed for treating anxiety.
First let's start with defining and identifying anxiety. Fear and worry cause anxiety. Anxiety is the emotional reaction that we experience when we perceive a threat or danger. The threat can be real, such as disease or terrorists. However the danger can be magnified such as a fear of getting Ebola from using a public bathroom. The threat can also be coming from within our own minds, such as a perceived threat to one's self-esteem as a result of losing a job or failing a test.
A good way to start to work on your fears and worries is to identify them. Worry is usually in the form of "What if?" An example of worry would be "what if I lose my job." Fear, on the other hand, tends to be more specific. An example of fear would be "I'll get Ebola from using a public bathroom." One way of dealing with fear and worry is through a reality check. Question the fear or worry. Is there any evidence that I am going to lose my job? What is the probability that I'll lose my job? You also can question the threat to your self-esteem. You don't become worthless as a result of losing your job or failing a test. You can only feel worthless if you believe you are worthless. You can question the logic of your thinking. Would you view your best friend as worthless if he or she became unemployed? Probably not, so why not treat yourself at least as well as you would treat a friend. Be kind to yourself. When you don't have to be afraid of you condemning yourself for mistakes and failures, then mistakes and failures become less scary. Ironically when you are less anxious about how you will do on the job or how you will do in school, then your mind is better focused, your concentration is better and you usually do better work, perform better on tests and in sports.
Another way of coping with anxiety is through problem solving. Problem solving involves 5 steps:
1) First identify the worry and define the problem - so for example, "What do I do if I lose my job?"
2) Next, "brainstorm" possible solutions to the problem – For example, "I could start looking for a job now, I could start working on my resume, I could start to network, I could start an online business, I could talk to a recruiter now, I could go for career counseling, I could collect unemployment, I could negotiate a termination package, etc.
3) Weigh the pros and cons of each alternative – Think about the advantages and disadvantages of each option, the possible consequences to yourself and to significant others and possible outcomes, as well as the likelihood of success of each alternative.
4) Select the best alternative or the best combination of alternatives - You don't have to select only one option. Frequently a combination of approaches will yield the best results.
5) Implement the action plan that you have developed. If unsuccessful, instead of giving up, renew your problem solving by starting to redefine the problem and brainstorm again. You probably will have new information and may be able to identify some new alternatives. Don't be afraid to ask other people you know and trust for their ideas. Sometimes another person can see an alternative that you missed.
You can even use a reality check to cope with anxiety about real physical dangers, such as a fear of terrorism and illness especially if the threat is based on misinformation. So what is the real risk of getting Ebola from using a bathroom or from being on the bus or train. You do not have to be an expert to do the reality check on worries about illnesses. Legitimate information is available. I am not a medical expert on Ebola, but I have listened to what the experts have said and written. Ebola is not airborne. You can only get it through direct contact with bodily fluids. So, we should have rational concern about using public bathrooms and wash our hands, instead of avoiding public bathrooms and public transportation out of fear. Avoidance is an attempt to run away from the threat or danger. The problem with avoidance is that it only gives you temporary relief, and in the long run, only makes matters worse, especially if the threat is based on misinformation or irrationality.
So what can we do to help our children cope with fear and anxiety? You might start by having them read this article, or share the information in it with them. Another good starting point is to encourage them to communicate their fears and anxieties. Just telling them to not worry is usually not helpful. Reality checks are different. A reality check involves accurate information and guidance. Problem solve with them. If there is a real problem what can they do about it? Teach them, and yourself, to be more self-accepting. We all make mistakes and we all risk failure in the process of pursuing success. We can learn from our mistakes and our failures. Less anxiety comes with greater self-acceptance.
There is a great deal more that can be said about coping with anxiety. For example there are relaxation and stress-management techniques that are very effective in reducing fear and anxiety. In this article, my intention was to introduce the reader to some of the basic tools for coping with anxiety. If further information about psychological services, or if professional help is needed, you can utilize the referral service of the Westchester County Psychological Association (WCPA). WCPA is an organization that is committed to furthering the development of psychology as a science and as a profession, in addition to safeguarding the interests of the public.
Disclaimer: Although Dr. Golden is a board member of the Westchester County Psychological Association (WCPA), the views in this article are his and not the views of WCPA.
Fire Fair At Crossway on October 18th
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A Fire Fair will be held at the Crossway Firehouse on Saturday, October 18, 2014 from 10 am to 2 pm rain or shine. The event will promote Fire Prevention Month and will include participation from all three volunteer companies, explorers, as well as the career staff.
Kids can crawl through the "Smoke Trailer" – a simulated house with a smoke machine, apparatus demonstrations; hourly fire demonstrations, extinguisher demos, fire prevention videos, fire safety checklist completion prizes, literature and food. Other "hands on" activities for children are also planned.
A school program will take place prior to the fair. On Friday, October 17, firefighters will visit the first grades in all of the elementary schools in the village. They will show a safety video and discuss fire prevention. We will also be handing out flyers to children of all ages to bring back home reminding the families about the fair.
This year's theme for Fire Prevention Week is "Working Smoke Alarms Save Lives." Firefighters will be spreading the word about the importance of having multiple working smoke detectors present in the home and regularly testing them and changing their batteries.
Fire safety equipment such as fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, and fire escape ladders will be on sale. New this year, residents can bring their home fire extinguishers to the Fair for a free inspection. Although the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) designates October as "Fire Prevention Month," emergency preparedness is an ongoing concern year round. Stay safe!
Scarsdale Girls Soccer Team Starts Ahead
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The Scarsdale Girls Soccer team played their third game of the season against New Rochelle on September 7. It was a tough fought match, as it always is against New Ro. The game ended with a win for the Raiders 2-1. Goals were scored by Danielle Ezratty #17 and Kristina Camaj #10.
So far the team's record is 2-1-0. The two wins were both league games, against New Rochelle and Mamaroneck where the Raiders won 3-1. The loss was in a non-league game versus North Rockland.
Leading the team this season are Libby Closson #16 who is committed to play Division 1 soccer for Boston University for 2015 and Kristina Camaj #10. Both Closson and Camaj are three-year All League players and Libby is also 2 year All Section player.
Returning players are: Sophomores: Kate Donovon, Sophia Mohlulis, Hayley Rozencwaig and Lucy Glickman
Juniors: Carly Glickenhaus (the goalie), Eryn McDonald and Zoe Epstein
Seniors: Anna Braverman, Kristina Camaj, Taylor Mancini, Danielle Ezratty, Libby Closson, Ali Oliverio and Whitney Mooney
Newbies are: Freshman: Campbell Yearley and Samantha Mancini
Sophomores: Erica Shapse, Shannon Regan and Juliette Miller
Juniors: Kara Elcik and Gillian Lubin
The team is coached by Mindy Genovese and assistant coach Kiera Fox. Tina Mercado is the player's team manager.
Captains are: Libby Closson, Kristina Camaj and Taylor Mancini, all 4 year Varsity players.
Photos courtesy of Jon Thaler. See more and purchase copies at www.jonthaler.com. Downloads are free and prints can be purchased on the site.
All You Need to Know About Disney But Didn't Know Who To Ask
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Thinking of planning to trip to Disney World? Whether it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip or a thrice-a-year adventure, it takes a lot of planning to ensure a fun time will be had by all. There are many decisions to make and twenty people who have been to Disney World twenty times will each tell you twenty different ways to do Disney. Here are some questions that came up when I planned a trip and I am letting you know what I learned to save you some time:
When is the best time of year to go to Disney World? Keep in mind that there is no perfect time to go to Disney. Looking at it another way, every time is perfect to go to Disney! The kids won't miss school if you go during winter break in February, but the parks are the most crowded this time of year (and other times when kids are out of school) and dining as well as lodging are much more expensive. Lodging in a studio at Disney's Lake Tower, for example, is $438/night (+tax) during "value season" and $655/night (+tax) during peak periods. You can find information on predicted park crowds at every Disney theme park for each day of the year at Undercovertourist.com https://www.undercovertourist.com/orlando/crowd-calendar/#calendar. Weather in Orlando can be lovely or stiflingly hot and rainy, so you may want to factor weather patterns in when planning.
How far in advance of going to I need to plan the trip? Planning your vacation far in advance will give you more choices as dining reservations can be made 180 days from the day you arrive. If Disney dining is important to you, you'll want to book your hotel and flights a few months in advance so that you can book your dining experiences.
How much does it cost to go to Disney World for a week? You can go on a Disney World 
vacation week for a family of four for $4,000 to$15,000, if not more. There is a huge range of hotels, food options, and entertainment options. Disney World is not known for being a budget savvy traveler's dream destination, but it is known for being the "happiest place on earth" and people are willing to pay a lot for this.
Should you stay at a Disney resort or off-site? Staying on Disney property offers advantages such as free transportation to and from the airport and transport around the parks including extra hours at the parks (a.k.a magic hours), the ease of charging expenses to your room and one-stop dining reservations. Disney resort guests are entitled to magic (wrist)bands that allow you to book FastPass+, Disney's new FastPass system, 60 (versus 30) days in advance. However, Disney properties are pricier than non-Disney properties for significantly smaller accommodations. Having a car and staying off site may be advantageous if you're looking to save money or to diversify your Orlando experience with visits to non-Disney parks like Universal or Sea World. People who stay on Disney property tend to feel like it's worth the expense and those who stay off-site often swear by it for the flexibility and the savings (which can be in the thousands for a one week stay.) Lynn Marvin goes to Disney World two to three times a year with her husband, three kids, and her mom. "We've stayed both on and off site at Disney and we think we get more value out of Disney properties," she said. Deluxe Disney resorts sleep six and it's less expensive for them to stay there than to get two rooms or a suite off-site. Disney's Fort Wilderness is considered a moderate-level resort and can sleep up to six adults in a well-appointed cabin. "Disney transportation runs regularly, and sometimes the off-site shuttles run on the hour which isn't convenient with kids," she added. They try to go during value versus peak season when rooms are 40% less. Lindsay Gravin stays off-site with her family of six that includes her in-laws. Her in-laws live in Florida and have a car which helps make staying off-site feasible. "I like the flexibility that a non-Disney property gives us," she said. "We have about three times as much space in the townhouse we rent than at a Disney villa or suite at a third of the price. I like having choices of things to do or buy that aren't all Disney all the time." The townhouse has a private pool for each unit as well as larger pools for the complex, playgrounds, a full kitchen, and laundry in the unit. "The best part for us is that we don't have to sleep with the kids. Also, the condos all have strollers so you don't have to spend money to rent a stroller every day at the theme parks or lug them with you from New York!" she exclaimed.
Should you buy a food plan? Like everything at Disney, the food plan is loved by some and unloved by others. "We never do a meal plan because it never seems like it's worth it," said Lynn Marvin. Meal plans limit where you can eat and what food you can order. Although it may seem like it would help you budget since you pre-pay for it, many items are excluded, (tax and gratuity are also extra,) and some people think it's too rigid. My own family of four stayed at Disney's Fort Wilderness Cabins and found that packing a suitcase full of food and buying things like milk at the Disney store (even at $5 a half gallon) saved us hundreds of dollars as well of hours of time sitting in restaurants when our kids just wanted to be on rides and see shows. We packed sandwiches and snacks for lunch and most night made reservations for dinner at Disney restaurants. One mom I spoke with said, "What I regretted most about our Disney trip last year was making so many dining reservations because we spent more hours in restaurants than enjoying the park activities. My kids' small appetites and lack of attention span made our frequent sit-down meals stressful!"
Which Character Dining experiences are best? Character dining abounds at Disney World. Your family pays a premium to eat a meal while characters come to your table rather than you waiting in line at the parks to meet them. Lynn Marvin favors the restaurant Akershus in Epcot for "princess" character dining. Their reviews on Trip Advisor are just as favorable for Cinderella's Royal Table in the Magic Kingdom. Both of these restaurants book quickly, so again, planning is key. My own family loved 1900 Park Fare at the Grand Floridian for dinner. The theme was Happily Ever After and Cinderella and her stepsisters as well as her stepmother and the prince were fabulous entertainment during a terrific meal. They were very entertaining for kids and adults alike. Whereas "human" characters speak and interact, "nonhuman" characters like Winnie the Pooh and Goofy do not, so keep that in mind. "Our favorite all around dining is Disney Junior at Hollywood Studios," said Lynn. "There's Jake the Pirate, Doc McStuffins, Handy Manny, and Sofia the First- great for little kids! This is our favorite and we have done almost all of the character dining." There are also dinner shows available such as Hoop Dee Doo Review and Mickey's Backyard BBQ.
What are the best parks for different age groups? Again, different people have different experiences at the parks; some people love Epcot with younger kids and some people feel like little kids are boxed out of most of the experiences there. After doing an extensive review of online resources and talking to several Disney "fanatics," here's what seemed to top the lists by age group (including non-Disney parks in Orlando):
- Babies (0-2 years): Magic Kingdom (and Sea World if you're exploring other parks in Orlando)
- Toddlers (3-5 years): Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Sea World
- Elementary age (6-9 years): Most of them. Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Typhoon Lagoon, as well as Universal and Legoland (non-Disney)
- Tweens (10-12 years): Magic Kingdom, Islands of Adventure, Hollywood Studios, both Disney water parks, and Universal Studios and Sea World (non-Disney)
- Teens (13-17 years): Magic Kingdom, Islands of Adventure, Epcot, and the water parks
What are the best resources for planning a Disney vacation? The Disney website is well organized and chock full of information. Mousesavers is a good site to go to for Disney tips and message boards as well as to keep abreast of available discounts. Undercover Tourist has savings and information as well. Touring Plans is a customizable step-by-step plan for visiting the parks that allows you to input exactly what you want to do and receive the best plan for your day in terms of lines and time. If you want to skip or add something you can "optimize" your plan at any time and the app is downloadable to your smartphone.
Last, Cori Shifrin, a Disney travel agent who lives locally suggested using Disney gift cards purchased at Target for a 5% discount on everything Disney. If you use your Target Redcard (the Target-issued credit card) to purchase, for example, $3,000 worth of Disney gift cards with the Target Redcard you will receive 5% off your total gift card order. You can then use the gift cards to book or buy anything Disney-related thereby saving $150 for every $3,000 you spend. She also suggested that you make a budget, plan your vacation at least seven months in advance, spend as many days at Disney World as possible, and work with a Disney travel agent to plan the trip since they know Disney well (and there's no additional cost to you). Cori can be reached at Magical Vacations Travel: cori@magicalvacationstravel.com or 914-414-3593.
Youth Sports Jamboree at Crossway on Saturday September 6th
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The Scarsdale Parks, Recreation and Conservation Department in conjunction with Scarsdale independent sports organization and local neighborhood athletic associations will be sponsoring a fun filled day of youth sports activities for the community on Saturday, September 6th from 10 AM to 2 PM at the Crossway Field Complex. The jamboree is designed to educate and showcase the wide variety of youth sport options available in the community. There will be wide variety of sports, games, food, music, inflatable amusements and more. This event is free and open to all Scarsdale residents. For more information visit the Scarsdale Recreation website at www.scarsdale.com/recreation, or you may call the Parks, Recreation and Conservation Department at 722-1160 with any questions.
