The Morning Peacemaker

Life coach, personal trainer and Scarsdale mom Lorraine Esposito is a burst of positive energy.  Her beautiful blue eyes, poise and self-assurance strike you immediately – and after five minutes you want to tell her everything on your mind and seek her advice.  Luckily for us, she’s well aware of her gift for personal counseling and has written a book, The Morning Peacemaker, to share her secrets.

Though her work deals specifically with raising independent children, it’s clear that her step-by-step approach to child rearing can be applied to everything we do.How did she come to design a behavioral training process and author a book about it?  Esposito is the mother of two school age boys and like many parents she found the simple act of getting the children ready for school and out the door to be a real challenge.  Furthermore, her older son had attention issues that exacerbated the morning routine as well as the day that followed.

Wanting to make it right she went to countless therapists and physicians to seek answers on how to raise happy, independent children.  Yet the time and money spent with these “experts” just yielded further frustration.  Though many could identify the signs and symptoms, no one had a method to tackle the problem.  For example, as a Mom she could see why her son had no friends…. but how could she help her son to become the kid that others wanted to play with?  In practical terms, what could she do to change his behavior and empower him to take charge of his own actions?

In her new book, Esposito analyzes the interactions between parent and child to discern what patterns trip us up and defeat our good intentions.  From there she helps us to set objectives and goals so that we’re clear on where we want to go. In the all-important next step, she shows the reader how to design a process that will make the child responsible for their own routine and free parents from nagging and conflict.

But the devil is in the details.  To truly understand the process, and benefit from it, read some of Lorraine Esposito’s own words below:

“The devil is finding a practical and simple method to bridge the gap between a child’s dependence on his or her parents and their successful independence. The transition is very similar to the transition kids go through when they first learn to ride a bicycle. We all expect a child to fall a few times while he practices balancing on the bike, right? Like most parents, I used training wheels and helmets to ensure that my boys were safe and felt supported in their efforts—even when they fell. Those tools made it possible for me to let go because I knew I had provided a safety net. To let go of them otherwise would have felt unnatural because I, like you, am programmed to protect my children. Yet I had to let go so that they could learn.

But where are the training wheels for the independence transition? Before now, it seemed our only options for teaching children to make beds and ready backpacks in the morning were either a nagging voice (no thank you) or to simply let go and allow them to fail (close, but still too scary). There is a feeling of danger in letting go and I believe that is why parents find it hard to remain consistent; it feels unnatural to let your child fall without a safety net. The problem is that, just like riding the bike, we have to let go for children to learn. The devil previously unavailable in parenting books was a practical method to empower independence while providing a safe and supported environment. The Morning Peacemaker provides parents with specific easy to follow instructions for creating the training wheels needed so that letting go and teaching your children to be responsible feels safe for everyone. With the supported empowerment now available, a child can practice responsibility, accountability and independence early so that he or she is ready to hit the ground running when the time comes.”

Intrigued? If you would like to purchase your own copy of The Morning Peacemaker, just click here to go to The Morning Peacemaker website. When you order, enter “10583” in the promo code, and you’ll receive a discount.