Panelists Shine the Light on a Taboo Subject

More than 100 community members gathered on Thursday night November 30 to discuss a sensitive issue that most shy away from confronting: sexual assault. The evening featured a panel discussion and viewing of excerpts from the film "Audrie and Daisie" and was co-sponsored by the Scarsdale High School PTA, Scarsdale Edgemont Family Counseling Services, and the Scarsdale Coalition on Family Violence. The discussion was moderated by New York State Assemblywoman Amy Paulin. On the panel were Kristen Bowes, General Counsel and Title IX Coordinator at Mercy College; Jennifer Snow, Board Chair of Students Active For Ending Rape (SAFER); and Katie Cappiello, founder of The Arts Effect NYC and author of "SLUT: A Play and Guidebook for Combating Sexism and Sexual Violence."

The film follows several high-school girls who have been sexually assaulted, specifically Audrie Pott and Daisy Coleman. While the girls suffered the backlash of their assaults, Pott even took her own life, their perpetrators received little punishment. The documentary was not shown in its entirety, rather, various clips were shown followed by questions from the audience and discussion from the panel. If you are interested in seeing the film, "Audrie and Daisy" is available on Netflix.

Themes discussed by the panel included: the impact of social media and bystanders, what does consent mean, education on sexual assault for high school and college students, education starting as early as Kindergarten, the impact of drugs and alcohol on sexual assault, how colleges handle sexual assault, and sexual assaults in which men are the victims.

Each panelist's passion for the issue shone through. Paulin has a personal attachment to the issue and she described the importance of being honest about your experiences: "I never told anyone until I told the entire New York State Assembly when I wanted them to pass a bill."

Panelist Kristen Bowes responded to a question asking how society treats men who come out about their stories as victims of sexual assault: "We try as best as we can on our campus to make it clear that discrimination against men is absolutely prohibited, and we try to be as open and inclusive as possible, but it is still a challenge. I even find myself when I do training to talk about the victim as 'she, she, she' and I have to catch myself all the time, so I know that we have to do the work but I know that we have our resources lined up if men come forward on our campus." The other panelists added that sexual assault against men is less common and prevalent, therefore it is harder for them to be open about their stories, but there are things being done to improve that.

Panelist Jennifer Snow explained several tips for college freshmen and prospective college students. Snow advised, "A good thing to ask on your college tour is 'what do you do about sexual assault on your campus?' New York and California are at the very top of this whole movement to try and combat sexual assault on college campuses. In other states you could have absolutely nothing, they could literally never say the words sexual assault in freshman orientation. In fact, I would say that's more of the norm than the exception."

Panelist Katie Cappiello explained: "How amazing would it be if conversations about consent, and about respect, and about engaging with one another in terms of all of these things started, and I know that this sounds scary, but there's a way that we can do it where we don't have to talk about it this in depth, but in Kindergarten. Like 'Hey, can I give you a hug? No? Okay!' You know that cute story that everyone has about the guy who chases the girl around the playground in Kindergarten and then pins her behind a tree and kisses her and it's so cute? It's not. And the little girl's crying isn't that funny? No, it's horrible." The importance of educating children about sexual assault early, was emphasized throughout the event.

The audience consisted largely of parents and students. Specifically, peer leaders and civ-ed advisors at SHS were encouraged to attend. However, some students, like Mollie Kerr 17', attended because of their passion for this issue. Kerr expressed, "I think that it's upsetting that we would have an assembly about drunk driving, underage drinking, or speeding while driving, that's mandatory, while sexual assault is a lot more common and prevalent and we haven't had an assembly on it." Kerr is working with Vice Principal Griffin and Youth Outreach Worker Lauren Pomerantz to educate every grade, specifically freshmen and seniors, in their own individual ways on consent and sexual assault.

If high school students want to learn more, have concerns, or wish to report an incident of sexual assault, the youth outreach workers and psychologists are a good place to start, and are always there. Scarsdale Edgemont Family Counseling Services is also available to parents and other members of the community, for help.