Tips for a Successful Transition to Kindergarten

As spring turns into summer and the school year winds down, it's hard not to anticipate where your child will be next fall. When your child is beginning Kindergarten, the transition can be a big one for both parents and kids, as families leave behind the gentle classrooms of pre-school, and head to new, bigger buildings filled with older kids and eventually, real academic demands. Here are some tips to help ease the transition for you and your child:

Read books together about starting school.
Spend an afternoon at the new Barnes & Noble café or the public library and look for books such as Kindergarten Rocks! By Katie Davis, First Day Jitters, by Julie Dannenberg, The Night Before Kindergarten, by Natasha Wing, and many many others. Make this time about connecting and providing a space to talk with your child, not an academic activity.

Visit your child's new school if possible.
Many children wind up going into their new school during a Kindergarten screening, and some are familiar with the building because an older sibling attends. Often also, the teachers open their classrooms up for a few hours the week before school starts for kids to come in. (You can call the school to ask if this is something they do.)

Take your child to play in the playground of the school over the summer. (This may have an added bonus of meeting kids in the neighborhood who are also starting Kindergarten there in the fall.)

Try to arrange play dates with other children you know will be attending that school. Many children will express that they are worried about missing their nursery school friends, or that they don't know anyone in their new school.

If your town does a summer "rec camp," consider signing your child up, at least for a few weeks. Often they will place children in groups together based on the elementary school they are zoned for, and these programs are usually on the less expensive end of summer day camps.

Validate their feelings. They are most likely feeling a combination of nerves and excitement which is perfectly normal. You don't have to "fix" it by telling them they will be fine, or that they will love it. You can tell them it's normal to feel nervous about going to kindergarten, and that most kids feel the same way. You can also share with them a story about a time you felt nervous before a big change.

Ask them if they have specific things they are worried about, and if they can name them. Sometimes it could be "who is picking me up and where?," or "how will I know which bus to take?," or "what will I eat for lunch?" You may be able to answer many of these questions concretely which will help alleviate some anxiety.

Expect some acting out and regressive behavior. This transition is a big deal and behavioral changes (that may seem out of character) are common. Your child may not settle down until deep into the fall.

Keep in mind that this is a transition for you as well, and you also may have some worries and concerns. The best way for you to begin to feel comfortable is to get involved to the extent that you can in their classroom and their school. Attend PTA meetings and sign up to work on an event, serve on a committee or become class mom. (They usually have many different options based on parents' available time and interests.) Becoming involved in your child's school will help you meet other parents, as well as get to know the teachers and the administration, which never hurts in terms of being able to best advocate for your child down the road.

MOST IMPORTANT:
Enjoy the summer. Allow less structure and relish relaxed family time as much as possible. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ACADEMICS. The teachers know what they are doing and they know that kids are coming in at different levels. Enjoy this time with your child. In what will seem like a flash you will be worrying about the transition to Middle School!

Julie Stonberg is a clinical social worker with a private practice in Harstdale. She also serves as a social worker for the Towards Tomorrow pre-school program at the JCC and runs workshops during the year on different parenting topics.