Parenting in the Digital Era

A full auditorium of Scarsdale parents gathered on April 19 to hear Rachel Dretzin, producer of Growing up Online and Digital Nation, speak about the profound effects of technology on the human experience. Dretzin said the parents in the audience would be the last generation to remember what it was like to live without computers. In fact, technology is changing so rapidly that Dretzin could chronicle changes in parents concerns from 2007 to 2010. She noted the evolution of parents’ reaction to the Internet and new technologies, saying that in 2007, parents’ main concerns were digital predators. But today, most children are well aware of the dangers of meeting people online and the majority will avoid contact, by email, phone or in-person with those they meet online. Though there are still children at risk, she noted that most kids who get themselves into trouble on the Internet tend to be children who have problems in other areas of their lives. Dretzin argued that the Internet only amplifies issues already at play.

She then turned to the “daily bread” of growing up online for the majority of children. The Internet is changing the way children learn, process information and engage with others. She has found that science is in its infancy when evaluating the effects of technology on the way we learn and act. But one thing is for sure – everyone is more distracted by phones, blackberries, instant messaging and email. As a result, she feels it is important that parents carve out time where screens are put away to foster human contact. A recent study found that children complain about their own parents’ preoccupation with computers and phones and Dretzin suggests that as parents we set an example by focusing on children when they speak and looking kids straight in the face.

What is the impact of our myriad distractions? Are we successful at multi-tasking and juggling? Dretzin went to MIT to find out, where she spoke with professors and students about the effect of laptops in the lecture hall and the change in student study habits. Professors were vying for student attention in class, competing with instant messaging, and Google searches. According to Sherry Turkle, clinical psychologist and Director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, kids need more and more stimulation due to the overload of information that surrounds them. In order to capture the audience in a class, professors have to come up with dazzling presentations that can outshine the laptop on the student’s desk.

A study of multi tasking was done at Stanford University, which showed that students were significantly slower at completing tasks when juggling several tasks at once. Though people think they can effectively multi-task, in reality they are not giving their undivided attention to any one area. When jumping from one task to the next, they had a sense of accomplishment but much fell through the cracks. Clifford Nass, who lead the study said, "It turns out that multi-taskers are terrible at every aspect of multi-tasking. They're terrible at ignoring irrelevant information; they're terrible at keeping information in their head nicely and neatly organized; and they're terrible at switching from one task to another." He added, "we worry that it (multi-tasking) may be creating people who are unable to think well and clearly.”

To combat distraction, Dretzin suggested that parents designate times where all technology is put away to give children time to reflect and relate. She bans all screens at mealtime and is attempting to extend the ban on technology to the Sabbath. She also recommended sitting with children who are composing or answering emails to point out how their words might be interpreted. Without feedback from the respondent, children may not realize the impact of their messages.

However, she cautioned against assuming that all technology is bad. The internet has extraordinary potential; information and answers are readily available and technology facilitates collaborative work. Even video games can be educational and we should not let our generational bias prevent us from embracing new advances. Are books necessarily better that information read online? New teaching and learning methodologies will develop in the 21st century and though we have lost some things in this massive shift, we have clearly gained as well.

As a mother of three school age children, Dretzin was able to develop an immediate rapport with Scarsdale parents and offer keen insights on parenting in a time of rapid change. You can watch the documentary Digital Nation which is streamed online here.

The program was sponsored by the Scarsdale PT Council