Dealing with a Bully
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We received this letter from a distressed mom this week -- and rather than offer up our own advice, we thought we'd ask our readers to answer. Now it's your turn to give a little free advice. Please post your response in the comments section below. Here's the issue:
Dear Scarsdale10583: I'm hoping someone can help. I sent my daughter to camp this summer and in her group there was a girl who can best be described as a miniature bully. Some days, she made my daughter and some of the other girls in her group miserable. I spoke to the counselors and even the assistant director of the camp to make sure my daughter wasn't instigating anything. They assured me it was this one girl and the other girls were not to blame. I can't say my daughter's summer was ruined, but it was less than ideal. I understand these things happen and we're moving on.
I didn't realize until nearly the end of the summer that the mean girl is the daughter of someone I'm friendly with in town. I ran into her once after realizing her daughter was causing mine trouble. I asked her how she thought the summer was going and she said she thought the kids in the group were terrible and my daughter was the only girl her daughter wanted to play with. She added that she'd love to set up a play date since our girls will be in school together this year. I was able to put it off a bit since we're heading on vacation.
She's already emailed me to set something up when we come back. The little girl may not be so bad one-on-one but when I brought up the idea to my daughter she was very upset and refused a play date. I can't say I blame her and I don't want to force her to play with someone who makes her upset. I can't avoid the mom all year and I don't want to confront her since I don't really feel like it's my place. Help!
Scarsdale Mom
Comments, please?
Westchester Girls Soccer Team Triumphs in Denmark
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The Rye Celtics, an under-15 Girls team with players from Westchester and Rockland counties and from New York City, swept through an international field of 56 teams to victory at the 30th Anniversary Dana Cup in Hjorring, Denmark. Scarsdale High School's Ali Lonner (goalie) and Stefanie Katsoff (defender) along with Edgemont's Gaby Susz (midfield) were joined by 18 other girls from Rye and surrounding communities under sunny skies in the five day tournament, billed as the largest sporting event in Denmark and one of the world’s largest youth soccer tournaments with over 850 boys and girls teams representing over 40 countries.
In the first two days, the Celtics, coached by Bill Whiston of the Rye Youth Soccer Club, played three qualifier games, winning 4-0, 4-0 and 3-0 to move into the A-bracket round of 32. After a night at the discothèque and carnival that was constructed by tournament organizers, on day three the Celtics won their first elimination match by a score of 3-0 and prepared to face the toughest competition yet in the round of 16 later that day. Against Varegg-Sandviken IL of Norway, the undersized American squad played a very physical match that wasn't very pretty to watch. After a scoreless first half, and with less than ten minutes remaining in the second, and with the Celtics facing the possibility of going to penalty kicks to decide the match, Susz put the ball in the back of the net to provide the margin of victory and send the girls on to the quarterfinals.
On day four the Celtics dominated their quarterfinal and semifinal matches 4-0 and 2-0. They were cheered on by a number of girls from other teams who had been eliminated in earlier competition and came out to watch the skillful Americans. With the final on the agenda for 11:45 the next day at the Hjorring Stadium, Coach Whiston nonetheless agreed to allow the girls one more night at the disco (with a strict curfew) as reward for their hard work and dedication. His confidence paid off as the girls came out hard against Arna-Bjørnar Allianse IL, a select team from Bergen, Norway. Playing in front of a crowd of several thousand, they played a scoreless first half despite one of the Celtic captains going to the bench with an upper leg injury. After some halftime adjustments, the eventual champions scored early in the second half and the added one more in the last ten minutes to seal the victory.
In all, the girls scored 23 goals and the spectacular defense surrendered none. This was the best showing of any team in the tournament and the best performance by any foreign team in the 30-year history of the event.
The sightseeing in Copenhagen, the camaraderie with girls from around the world speaking the common language of sport, and the success on the pitch, made this trip one that these girls will never forget.
Picture: Ali Lonner (first row, sixth from left), Stefanie Katsoff (second row, third girl from left), Gaby Susz (second row, sixth girl from left)
Reported by Chris Lonner
Grant and Grinhaus Receive Golden Dozen Award
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Senior Co-Captains Allie Grant and Kim Grinhaus both received multiple awards at the All-Section Lacrosse Awards dinner on Tuesday, June 14th at the Casa Mia Manor House in Blauvelt, NY. Kim Grinhaus, a goalie, was honored as an All-Section goalie, and Allie Grant, a midfielder, received All-Section Honorable Mention. Grinhaus made 76 saves this season, which was shortened due to injury. Grant led the team in goals scored with 62 goals in 2011 and also had 10 assists; she had 7 goals and 1 assist in a 16-11 loss to North Rockland. The Scarsdale team lost in the Section 1, Class A, Quarterfinals to Lakeland/Panas, the eventual Section 1 champion.
While there were 100 recipients of All-Section Honors, selected from over 40 high schools, only 12 athletes received the coveted Golden Dozen Award, two of which were Allie Grant and Kim Grinhaus. This award is bestowed upon a select few senior athletes who not only stand out on the field but also excel in the classroom and in giving back to the community. Athletes were selected from all of Section 1 which includes Westchester, Rockland and Putnam Counties. Both athletes were also honored this year and last year as U.S. Lacrosse High School Academic All Americans.
Allie Grant will be going to Cornell University in the fall. Grant scored over 100 goals in her varsity lacrosse career netting her 100th goal in Scarsdale’s playoff win over Carmel. In addition, Grant was a two-sport athlete, also being Captain of the Gymnastics team this year, and qualifying for post season competition all four years on floor and balance beam events. She received All-League honors for her efforts in gymnastics for the past two years. She has been involved in community affairs, working with children whose lives have been touched by cancer at Gilda’s Club as well as working with developmentally disabled and underprivileged children at Southeast Consortium and Westchester Youth Bureau. She was a Peer Leader, involved in student class government and was also honored by Scarsdale’s Rotary Club this year for her community and academic efforts. Grant is a member of the Honor Society and was one of 10 finalists in the Tri-State Area for Deloitte-Touche’s Positive Coaching Alliance ‘Triple Impact’ Award in Fall 2010 for her contributions/success in sports, academics and community service activities.
Kim Grinhaus will be continuing her lacrosse career at Union College in the fall. She also played varsity Soccer for Scarsdale and was a starter and received All League honors this year. With a rigorous academic load, Kim also found the time to contribute significantly to the community. She helps children with special needs by teaching them sports. In addition, she has worked with autistic children using music and the arts to help them develop positive self esteem. Grinhaus was also a civics education advisor at the high school for the past two years. She was selected to represent the Hudson Valley and Empire State Lacrosse teams for her outstanding performance and ability. As a result of her sports, academic and service record, she just received the Nina F. Mooney Memorial Award at Scarsdale HS to a senior girl for these contributions.
Other Section 1 student athletes who received the Golden Dozen Award were: Julia Bruton (Bronxville), Katherine Flynn (John Jay CR), Hannah Gutenplan (Horace Greeley), Melissa Hanson (Walter Panas), Kristen Hodgkinson (Yorktown), Kristina Howe (Pleasantville), Aileen Kurpis (Yorktown), Mackenzie McIndoe (Clarkstown North), Megan Murray (Bronxville) and Geneva Toland (Nyack).
Scarsdale Athletic Director Retires
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After many successful years in the Scarsdale School District, Scarsdale High School’s athletic director, Michael Menna is retiring. As a member of the SHS graduating class of ’73, Menna developed an early love for SHS. He returned to the district in 1986, working as a physical education teacher at Greenacres elementary school. Menna began working with their athletic department during his early years in the district. He coached the junior varsity baseball team, assisted the varsity football team and was the head coach of the varsity ski team, all while working in the district.
Menna was approached 11 years ago and offered the position as SHS athletic director. Menna gladly accepted the challenge. He viewed this opportunity as a chance to “make the students’ participation the best possible experience”. Menna had many goals in mind to improve Scarsdale’s athletic department, such as “grow the facilities, increase student participation and develop the respect student’s athletes have for each other and their opponents”.
Menna’s hard work and determination allowed him to fulfill his intentions. Under Menna’s tenure, significant changes were enacted to improve SHS athletic program. The bowling team, crew team, varsity B tennis, modified hockey and the girls’ golf team were all added during his tenure. Menna’s participation with Maroon & White and Scarsdale residents led to some new great traditions at SHS, such as the cheerleading tournament, pep rallies and the wonderful raider pride weekend. “Raider pride weekend is a time where students, fans and athletes can express their pride for their school and their sports team”, said Sam Bromer ’12.
Menna says he cannot take all the credit for the improvements to SHS athletic department. He strongly credits and thanks “the coaches’ hard work and effort, the Scarsdale Board of Education for support, Maroon & White and the residents of Scarsdale for supporting the student athletes”. Menna especially “thanked the students for their ability to balance their responsibilities and for showing respect on and off the field”.
Despite the fact that Menna says he is “going to miss the coaches, student athletes and games”, next year he plans to continue to work in business as a project manager.
Although, Menna is retiring, his love for SHS athletics is not. He plans to return to SHS to visit. As for who is going to be the next athletic director at SHS, Menna can only guess. He has no say and a committee has been named to elect the next athletic director. Whoever is elected will hopefully continue to improve and grow SHS athletics just as Michael Menna has.
Author Jake Bank is a rising senior at Scarsdale High School. He is a member of the varsity Ice Hockey Team and varsity Lacrosse team. He is also a member of the Scarsdale A School.
Scarsdale Athletes Honored at Maroon and White Barbeque
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On Tuesday, June 7th, Scarsdale’s spring athletes gathered at the high school for a barbeque. The Maroon and White sponsored the cookout to honor athletes with special awards. Two seniors were given the Pepper Awards, which commend students for their leadership, spirit and academic excellence. The awards were presented to Kathryn Peruski and Hiroki Kobayashi. In addition, the Nina F. Mooney memorial award was given to Deborah Grinhaus, the Nonie Kopp memorial award was granted to Ianni Drivas and the Elizabeth Timberger Memorial Award was given to Maitali Hans. There was a huge buffet of burgers, hot dogs, salad, pasta, cookies and ice cream served on maroon covered tables for everyone to enjoy. See photos of the event below.
Photos by Lindsay LeBoyer
