Friday, Mar 29th

Proud Dads Among First to Marry in Westchester

fraleyMeet Chris Fraley and Victor Self, the first same-sex couple to apply for a marriage license in Greenburgh under the newly-enacted Marriage Equality Act. Fraley and Self rushed to file when they learned that the Greenburgh Village Court would be open on Sunday, July 24. To make it official, they planned a ceremony at the Gazebo in Rye and a reception at Frankie and Johnnie's. They were honored when State Senator, Suzi Oppenheimer, who worked hard to get the legislation passed, attended the party.

This wasn’t their first wedding. The two have made several trips abroad to marry in places where same-sex unions are recognized. They were first married in St. Barths where they had a religious ceremony in 2008 with friends and family along to witness and celebrate the nuptials. They also traveled to South Africa where they were able to have a legal civil wedding, since the country legalized same-sex marriages some years ago. When they learned that New York State had legalized same-sex marriage in July, they jumped at the chance to marry in this country to avoid any doubt in the United States that their union was legal.

Chris, age 42, works as an investment manager in White Plains and Victor, age 41, is a fitness instructor for Equinox in Scarsdale, Mamaroneck and several other locations. They met in November, 2003 and have been together for almost eight years. Their recent wedding was just another step in the couple’s long journey to forming a family.

They are also the proud fathers of an 18-month-old baby girl named Coco who shares their home in Rye. The two dads documented the story of the pregnancy of a surrogate mother and Coco’s birth in a blog, http://countdowntodaddyhood.blogspot.com, and generously agreed to share it with our readers. Commenting on the new legislation, Fraley said, “We are hopeful Coco will grow up in a world that doesn't discriminate against same sex couples. The recent legislation was a huge step in the right direction.”

We asked Chris if he was surprised when the legislation was passed and he said, “I was actually a little shocked the first time theWedding law did not pass a few years ago. I had always thought of New York at the forefront of civil rights and it was surprising to me that we had more rights as a couple in Argentina, South Africa and Spain than we did in New York. Though they believe their marriages in St. Barths and South Africa were legal, before the ceremony in New York, they could not file a joint tax return. Now they will be permitted to file a joint state return, though the “Defense of Marriage Act” still prevents them from filing a joint federal return.

Though they rarely felt discrimination in Westchester before the new law was enacted, Chris and Victor have received many good wishes since July. While out walking in Rye recently, a woman who they did not know stopped them to tell them that she had recently moved up from Manhattan and was glad to see some diversity in the suburbs.

Commenting on their new status, Fraley said, “The passing of the Marriage Equality law was particularly exciting for us because we are relieved that we will never need to explain to Coco that our family is treated differently than other family.”

Congratulations to the Fraley–Self family.

(Pictured above right: Coco, Chris and Victor Celebrate with State Senator Suzi Oppenheimer who championed the new legislation)

 

 

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