5 Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

The following was written by mindfulness and meditation expert Cheryl Brause. Check out her new meditation studio, Pause to be Present in Scarsdale Village.

It’s that time of year again - holiday season. It’s a time of celebration, joy, and togetherness. It can also be a time of stress and feelings of sadness or loneliness. Travel, family reunions, social gatherings, overflowing “to do” lists, and pressure to feel joyful this time of year can feel overwhelming. Here are some tips from mindfulness expert Cheryl Vigder Brause, to help you lower stress, slow down, and feel more joy and ease this time of year.

1. Look for the “Ands”

In any situation there are always the “ands.” These are the good things, the positive or pleasant things that bring you joy. Even in difficult times, you can look for the “ands” to foster positivity in your experience and help you feel more balanced and less overwhelmed. Remember that even the little things aren't so little. A nice deep breath, a beautiful sunset, snuggling with a pet, a walk outside, a restful nap, a delicious cup of coffee, these are the “ands” that can re-energize you and help you feel joy and ease, even in very stressful times. You have to pause, look for them, give yourself time to enjoy them, and really feel that joy or ease in your body. It takes time and practice but looking for the “ands” can make a big difference in your life!

2. Do Less

We often want to do it all and do it all perfectly. This year, give yourself a break and do less. Know what boundaries you need to set and set them. Know when it is time to leave or what topics you prefer not to discuss. It’s OK to say NO and set those boundaries. In doing so, you are honoring your own limits and preferences. Just as we all like to spread good cheer and kindness this time of year, don’t forget yourself in the mix and give yourself a much-needed break by taking a few things off your “to do” list.

3. Good EnoughCheryl Brause and Stephanie Falk

Holidays are often full of memories and expectations. We set the bar impossibly high for ourselves in terms of how we want things to be or how we want others to act. Then, we get upset, angry or disappointed when things (or we) don’t live up to those expectations. So, adopt the phrase, “good enough.” A messy house, a less than perfect table setting, a moment of impatience or frustration — are good enough. Catch yourself when you are apologizing or berating yourself and stop right there. Remember it is good enough and you are good enough!

4. Set An Intention to Help You Stay Grounded

Setting an intention is a powerful way to stay grounded during the holidays. Before you welcome guests, head to the airport, enter someone’s home, or sit down at the holiday table, set an intention to help you get into the right mindset. Ask yourself, “What matters most to me right now?” Or “How do I want to show up?” See what answers arise. Then, pick a word or phrase and repeat it to yourself often to remember how you want to show up and what you want to focus on. Some helpful intentions to repeat to yourself over the holidays are:

-Slow down
-Be patient
-Be kind
-Relax (literally let go of tension in your body and open your heart to fun and joy — let your body lead the way)
-That’s interesting
-Everyone is (I am) doing the best that they (I) can

5. Be Where Your Feet Are

The best gift you can give others is your presence. There is magic in being exactly where you are physically and mentally. The more you pull your attention into the present moment in a non-judgmental and openhearted way, the more you can steer clear of all those stories or judgments about what is or what is not happening right now. You can also avoid mentally time traveling where your mind is often full of regrets from the past or worries about the future. Remember that the only place you ever are is here, in this moment, don’t miss it. This holiday season be where your feet are and give the gift of presence to yourself and those around you.

Cheryl Vigder Brause is a nationally recognized mindfulness and meditation expert, writer, speaker and mother of three who resides in Larchmont. Cheryl specializes in teaching corporate clients, schools and people across the country how to manage stress, boost happiness, and live their best life. She is the Co-Founder of Pause to be Present, a virtual meditation studio with a new in-person studio in Scarsdale Village. To learn more about upcoming live and in-person classes and workshops visit www.pausetobepresent.com