Details

Written by Joanne Wallenstein

Category: The Goods

Published: 10 May 2021

Divorce Mediator and Attorney Lori Greene offers the following tips to those contemplating a divorce:

Divorce does not happen overnight. Marriages break down over time for many different reasons. One of the most common triggers is difficulty working through financial stress/pressure together, which can then lead to one or both spouses becoming depressed and wanting to escape. How do people escape? Sometimes they abuse drugs and alcohol, have extra-marital affairs, or work more and more, spending less quality time at home. All these practices destroy the marital bond and connectedness over time.

That is not to say people that wealthy people are immune from relationship breakdowns. Many of my divorce mediation clients are couples with substantial net worth, yet their marriages still deteriorated over time. Sometimes a spouse may fall victim to “mid-life crisis” and engage in activities that are destructive to the marriage. A lot of couples unhappily stick it out together until they hit the “empty nest” phase, like Bill and Melinda Gates, who are now separating after 27 years of marriage.

So how do you best prepare yourself, no matter what your age or financial situation may be, if you think you might be headed for divorce in the future? Below are 5 critical ways to get yourself ready:

1. Budget for Separating- Often in a marriage one person is much more knowledgeable about the family finances than the other. If finances aren’t your strong suit, take the time to educate yourself and become familiar with the monthly expenses/debts (as compared to the income flowing in). There are budget worksheets you can obtain from professionals in the divorce field that will help you figure out what you may be able to afford after separating from your spouse.

2. Know Your Assets and Debts- Cars, real estate, and retirement accounts are just a few examples of valuable assets that may have been acquired during your marriage. Learn the values of these assets, with the help of appraisers or other experts, to get a sense of your “net worth”. Keep in mind that the marital assets and debts would be split equitably (not necessarily equally) according to New York Law. A consultation with a knowledgeable family law attorney can provide insight about asset and debt distribution in your case.

3. Decide Who Moves Out- Once you are comfortable with the financial aspects of divorcing, start planning for the next step, like who will eventually move out. This can be one of the hardest decisions, especially when young children are involved. Before making a final decision regarding house sales and moving out it is a good idea to consult with a divorce lawyer. You will want to preserve your legal rights, protect your property interest, and limit any personal liability before moving out.

4. Work out a Parenting Plan- When children are involved, it is often helpful to work with a family therapist, divorce mediator, or other professional who can help you come up with a parenting plan that works for your situation. There is no “one size fits all” parenting arrangement. Most important is to be realistic, practical, and sensitive to the needs and interests of all involved, especially those of the children.

5. Find Positive Outlets to Reduce Stress- Going through divorce is an anxiety provoking time. People tend to retreat, isolate themselves from others, and can become depressed. The best way to stay healthy and connected is to confide in family, close friends, and others that you trust, and lean on them. Work out, meditate, or engage in activities that will make you stronger both physically and mentally.

Most important, the stress of going through the divorce will be reduced substantially if you plan and are prepared long before your spouse says: “I want a divorce.” Trust your intuition for warning signs, and educate yourself, so you can make thoughtful decisions that meet your needs and interests.

Greene says, “Yes, I am an attorney, but this article does not create an attorney-client relationship. This is legal information but should not be seen as legal advice. Consult with an attorney and a financial planner regarding your specific situation and goals.”

Lori Greene, JD, graduated cum laude from Brooklyn Law School and received her undergraduate degree, with distinction and high honors, from Tufts University. She is a certified mediator and an attorney, licensed to practice law in New York, with over 20 years of combined legal and business experience. Lori’s broad range of experience and skills include: complex family law matters, insurance coverage disputes, and commercial litigation cases, allowing her to skillfully assist clients in resolving all of their business and legal issues involved with divorce. Learn more here.

Details

Written by Joanne Wallenstein

Category: The Goods

Published: 16 May 2021

This is the opinion of Scarsdale10583 site founder Joanne Wallenstein:

Like many of you, I have been carefully considering who to vote for in the election for Scarsdale School Board on Tuesday May 18. However, unlike most of you, as editor of Scarsdale10583, I watched all of this year’s lengthy Board of Education meetings in their entirety. I came away with some general impressions that are top of mind as I weigh my options.

First, I was struck by the high degree of community involvement and passion. With many children experiencing remote learning and our school buildings closed, it was indeed a crisis and our educated and informed parents had insights to share.

But rather than welcome community involvement, my general impression was that the comments and emails to the Board were viewed as an annoyance. The Board strove to limit speaking time, offered pat responses to emails and refused to invite residents with relevant professional experience to participate in the restart process. What a shame! By inviting community participation, the Board could have built consensus and won the confidence of distressed parents.

Second, I was appalled to watch members of the Board of Education silence one of their own who wanted to make a statement. He was accused of “playing to the crowd and grandstanding.” The Board President barred him from speaking based on a decision about board protocol made in a closed meeting. Take a look at what happened here, beginning at 12:49 minutes into the board meeting  October 5, 2020 meeting:

Sadly – in my experience – this was not the first time the Board of Education has reacted this way. A few years ago the administration and the board used similar tactics to squash input on the Greenacres Elementary School. When the building committee on which I served posed too many questions, the administration disbanded the committee. Unable to obtain historical records I filed a FOIL request to learn more about the state of the original building. I waited months for a response, and in the end, received reports that were so redacted that they were impossible to read. When I asked teachers questions about the mold that had plagued the building, I got a phone call from the head of the teachers union telling me not to speak to the faculty. It only served to raise my suspicions that something was being covered up.

Consequently, it was no surprise to me when high levels of lead and Legionella bacteria were detected in the district’s water supply this year, requiring the use of temporary lead filters on many district water sources. The district spent millions on repairs and built five cafeterias that the community had not requested. Yet funds were not available to replace lead pipes, address the dirt foundation underlying the Greenacres School or expand classrooms sized well below current standards.

Was I thanked by the community for attempting to get to the bottom of these environmental and structural issues? No, to the contrary, many in the community vilified me. I was attacked on social media and grew fearful of my neighbors. Since that time I have been reluctant to take a stand on community issues and elections.

However, this year we received many eloquent letters on the upcoming election that ultimately convinced me how to vote and have given me the courage to speak out. After considerable deliberation, I have decided to back the two candidates nominated by the School Board Nominating Committee. In the end, I think it’s important to remember that these candidates were selected by 30 community members who were democratically elected by you the voters. They are your representatives.

When considering the candidates, the committee put them through a process similar to a rigorous job search, speaking to their references, looking at their past experiences and interviewing the candidates themselves.

The SBNC represents the will of the community at large. In deliberating, they consider the current composition of the Board and what members with particular professional backgrounds and skills may be needed at this point in time. After lengthy discussions they selected Jim Dugan and Jessica Resnick Ault as the best people to serve the entire community.

Many of your letters to the site informed my thinking that a seasoned journalist and an experienced litigator would increase transparency and accountability.

Here are excerpts from just a few of the letters that we posted:

Jon Lemle

I hope the community will join me in voting for Jessica Ault-Resnick and Jim Dugan for the Board of Education. Embedded in everything the board undertakes is the responsibility of governance/oversight/accountability. Jessica’s professional training as an investigative reporter and Jim’s as a litigator provide them the foundation to excel in this role. They are both committed to greater transparency and collaboration with the community. They both have children currently in the school system, including the elementary level, which has been underrepresented on the board.

Felicia Block

To those that have sat in the room before me, thank you. To those that sat in that room with me, I am forever grateful for the time we shared and am honored to know you. And to those that sat in a virtual room this year, you had a difficult task and I appreciate you.

If you have not yet served on the SBNC, you may be surprised to see the amount of time I am giving to lift up the members of the SBNC. The reason is simple. I support the candidates that they have brought forward this year, because I know the time and care that was taken to select Jessica Resnick-Ault and Jim Dugan for election to the Scarsdale Board of Education by the SBNC.

Michelle Sterling

In times of challenge, we see the mettle of our leaders – hardship shines a light on them. Our elected SBNC members have nominated Jessica and Jim, two outstanding candidates who will make their voices heard in support of the best education for our children, and who have a clear understanding that they are our elected representatives. I urge you to vote for Jim and Jessica on May 18 for our Board of Education.

Jeremy Gans

An effective Board does not silence its own members when those members attempt to discuss issues brought to them by the community. The current Board did this on multiple occasions. An effective Board asks questions of its superintendent and the administration. And, most importantly, an effective Board finds ways to get to “yes.” An effective Board would have prioritized safety but also would have done what it needed to do to increase the amount of in-person school this year. Our peer districts found a way. We did not, due to a lack of leadership by Ms. Singer and others, at the Board level ….. Scarsdale parents, students and taxpayers deserve a School Board that listens to the community and serves all stakeholders to ensure our district is providing the best holistic educational experience possible. Jessica Resnick-Ault and Jim Dugan are the only two candidates in this race with the dedication, experience and skills to do so. Please vote for Jim and Jessica on Tuesday, May 18.

Diane Greenwald

In this year derailed by a global pandemic, some might wonder if the SBNC’s disregard for previous school board ‘experience’ is an overreaction to a contentious year. The pandemic is certainly not the fault of our schools and Alison Singer, now challenging to get her seat back, is claiming her board experience is critical.

Having served on the SBNC in the past, I imagine the committee deliberated carefully about all of the candidates. The decision seems neither a careless mistake nor is it simply reactionary to the Covid-crisis. SBNC should not ‘rubber stamp’ any candidate – and they didn’t. Instead, after weighing values, records, character, and skills, the SBNC offers two balanced and energetic nominees, Jim and Jessica.

The election will be held Tuesday May 18 from 7am to 9 pm at Scarsdale Congregational Church, 1 Heathcote Road, Scarsdale. Exercise your right to vote.

Details

Written by Joanne Wallenstein

Category: The Goods

Published: 29 April 2021

Mother’s Day is Sunday May 9, and this year you can shop local to find gifts and food for Mom and support our retail community. Take a look at a few suggestions for Mom from local merchants and share your ideas in the comments section below:

I Am More Scarsdale

Treat Mom to the hottest clothing, accessories and jewelry from I Am More on Spencer Place in Scarsdale Village. Shop for these gifts and more fashionable items she’ll love:

Statement Earrings: Handmade embroidered and beaded earrings. The perfect finishing touch to any outfit! (Retail $40-$98)

Bandana Beach Bags and Clutches: Impermeable beach bags and clutches made in a special way to flatten up when travel packing. (Clutches $125, Totes $200)

Karen Lazar Bracelets: Karen Lazar’s 14k gold-filled bracelets are versatile and can be dressed-up or dressed-down. They look amazing with a watch, bracelet, or in a stack, and they can feel both bohemian and classic. The bracelets also give women that opportunity for a quick fix—something new and shiny that you can add to your existing collection. (Retail $48-$210)

I Am More Scarsdale
6 Spencer Place
Scarsdale
(914) 723-6673
Iammorescarsdale.com

Current Home

Current Home in the Golden Horseshoe Shopping Center stocks contemporary and novel gifts that say “I Love You.” Find these gifts and much more in their Mother’s Day gift guide here.

Let mom know she is MOST LOVED this Mother's Day. This super soft monogrammed machine washable throw will make her think of you every time she looks at it or wraps herself up when relaxing at home. Three color options: Blue with ivory lettering, taupe with ivory lettering or ivory with grey lettering. Machine washable. $190

Butterfly Porcelain Catch-all Tray: This cheerful tray features art by internationally renowned fine art photographer, Gray Malin. The porcelain catch-all trays are perfect decorative objects for home and the perfect gift for mom. Made of porcelain with gold edges. $40

Current Home
1096 Wilmot Road, Scarsdale
NYC: 1189 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY
www.currenthomeny.com

Scentfluence Aroma Design Studio on Harwood Court has scentsational gifts for every Mom. Stop in to sample their curated custom scents that will freshen home environments, delight and inspire. For Mother’s Day, be sure to sample Lavender Leaves, Verbena and Bergamot. Or if Mom is a nature lover, bring the green inside with winter pine, rosemary or mint focus. There’s a scent for every home and business along with a full line of scent diffusers to atomize your scent. It’s an original gift that’s sure to please.

Scentfluence
22 Harwood Court
Scarsdale
(914) 338-5070
www.scentfluence.com

Apiary Café at Scarsdale Library has a special Mother’s Day Menu available for pre-orders. Chef Joerg is making it easy to make mom feel extra special with close family and friends! They have curated exciting options to tantalize your taste buds and to enjoy a delicious Mother’s Day themed menu!

Treat the family to creamy lemo parmesan chicken, mango salsa grilled halibut, herbed ricotta and fresh tomato tart and lots more.

See the full menu here:

All Mother’s Day specials are pre-order only and orders must be placed by May 4th at 5:30 pm.

Place your order by calling Apiary at (914) 834-3572. Pick up at the Larchmont location or request delivery.

Apiary at the Library
54 Olmsted Road
Scarsdale, NY
(914) 834-3574
https://www.apiarylarchmont.com/scarsdalelibrary

Add your Mother's Day gifts to our guide by emailing us at Scarsdalecomments@gmail.com.