Wednesday, May 08th

Single in Scarsdale

singleThough statistics show that 25% of adults in Scarsdale are not married, the perception here is that almost everyone is married. With so many social activities centered around families, if you're single it's hard not to feel like the odd-man or odd-woman out. But whether you've always been single or are newly solo, there is a singles scene out here; you just need to know where to look.

A 50-year-old divorced mom in Scarsdale agreed to give her perspective about being single in Scarsdale. She said, "One good thing about being single in the burbs is that there are plenty of other single people who live in Scarsdale who are divorced as well. Divorced adults find each other through other lovely people, both single and married, who tell us about each other to ensure us that we are not alone. I found that many single men and women are happy to help out with various needs giving rides to children and sharing community and work contacts. In addition, we (single parents) often get together so that the children have a connection and don't feel out-of-the-loop because their parents are divorced. The kids feel comfortable in sharing their feelings with each other. I have personally witnessed the conversation between two 11 year-old boys about their feelings about their fathers.

She continues, "At times, being divorced can feel alienating. Unless you have boyfriend or girlfriend, it's tough to make a plan with other couples. Of course one can be a 3rd or 5th wheel but it's not something that would happen regularly. Naturally, some married people feel uneasy around divorced people because they don't want to expose their crappy marriage or take the risk to have a single woman or man around to test it either."

Where does she go to meet other single? "There are many opportunities to connect with other adults," she said, "no matter what their marital status. She enjoys going to Soul Cycle, Massa, Chat, and Savona. She also mentioned that the sideline of sports fields can be good meeting opportunities, and added, "I have heard that people enjoy Greenwich where there are vastly more options than Scarsdale to go hunting for husband-number –two."

Where else to singles go to mingle? Thursday nights are traditionally a night for singles to go out to local restaurants and bars. Wine bars often attract a relaxed and sophisticated crowd and there are great local spots including Pour Wine Bar in Mt. Kisco, Crush Wine Bar in Larchmont, and Gnarley Vine in New Rochelle. Some local restaurants with cosmopolitan bar scenes include BLT at the Ritz-Carlton, Vintage of White Plains, Harry's in Hartsdale, Chat and Savona in Scarsdale, Fig & Olive in Eastchester, Chat 19 in Larchmont, Village Social in Mt. Kisco, and Bar Taco and Arrosto of Port Chester. In Greenwich, L'Escale and Valbella are known for attracting single professionals. Places like Growler's Beer Bistro in Tuckahoe, Black Bear Saloon and Wicked Wolf Tavern in White Plains, and Don Coqui of New Rochelle have a more laid back feel. Some even have karaoke and trivia nights that attract a singles crowd of all ages.

If drinking and singing off key to strangers are not your thing, here some other places to look for a casual date or a serious relationship. There's low-pressure speed-dating http://www.pre-dating.com/westchester-speed-dating/ for the busy professional of any age. If you have time on your hands and want to learn a new skill while meeting people, ballroom dance classes are offered around Westchester and instructors will pair single dancers together. If clubbing is your style, check out the Coliseum in White Plains, Club Infinity in Pleasantville, and Teddy's Ultra Lounge in Mt. Kisco to get your groove on well into the wee hours of the morning.

More organized events include "meet ups" sponsored by Amazing Westchester Singles, Cheap Eats and other Foodie Delights of Westchester, Greenwich-Westchester Singles Group, and Westchester 20 & 30 Somethings are great places to start. There are a number of lesbian and gay meet ups as well. The groups vary in regards to participant's ages and types so your best bet is to check them all out and join the ones that align with your interests. There are other "meet up" interest groups that often attract singles such as the Hudson Valley hiking group http://www.meetup.com/hvhikers/.

Westchester County is known for it's fantastic library books sales. If you're more of a reader than a bar hopper, check out the book sales in Eastchester, Scarsdale, and Greenburgh. Likewise, if you prefer beer to books, check out Oktoberfest in White Plains, always a great bet for meeting people (and drinking beer). The gym can be another place to meet a prospective date since you're likely to see the same people over and over again (wearing spandex or lycra ... potentially a bonus).

Online dating services are an efficient medium for hunting for Mr. or Mrs. Right. In fact, my husband and I would never have gotten together if it hadn't been for JDate. (We've been married for over a decade now.) Match.com, eharmony, and Zoosk are all popular online dating services. One very attractive, successful, divorced woman who works in Scarsdale said that she tried online dating but hasn't had success at it. However, she added, "... I know many people who have had great success and they have told me you have to treat it as a job, spending time on it every day."

Please share your own "single in Westchester" story with Scarsdale10583.com readers. We'd love to hear from you.

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