Funny Letters From Camp

If you’ve ever received one (or many) of these, then you know: letters from camp really are a treat. Whether they make you laugh or cry (or, sometimes, both), they are filled with humor, from the bad grammar, inventive spelling, and pure honesty to the beauty of the randomness of a one-sided conversation with your child. I have collected some of this summer’s best from my friends, and would like to share them with you. You can see the visuals of some, while others will be re-written below. Feel free to write in with some favorites from your own children.

Some highlights:

“Right now it’s rest hour and I’m on the toilet. Sorry, gotta go.”

“Dear family, I am forced to write home but I have nothing to say.”

“Dear family, have you seen the camp fashion show pix? Don’t I look hot? Sorry about the language. I’m going to need more privileges to fit in at home.”

“Dear peeps, I figured out that my flashlight went missing. Got another one?”

“’Sup! What’s chillin my homies? I’m hangin with my dawgs.”

“Camp Rox! At dinner we stood on the tables. My counselor asked if a cupcake smelled weird and then when I smelled it he smashed it into my face. It was awesome!”

“Dear Mom, have you been getting my letters? If you haven’t, I broke my toe. Love, Jenny.”

“Just out of curiosity, what if I came home for second session? We could go to Europe or something?”

“How come I have Lisa’s fan and water bottle and you forgot to pack my toothbrush. Can you bring one up on visiting day? It’s getting kind of gross not brushing my teeth.”

Complete Letters:

Dear D,S,E,

Hi. Not much new. One question (respond in letter) is it okay if I stepped in a piece of gum and its stuck to my shoe. I tried to get it off on a rock and a bit may have gotten on my hand. I washed my hands after but can I get something bad from that (AIDS, Parkinsons Disease, Cholera, etc…). Respond in letter ASAP. See you in less than 3 weeks.

Love,
Kenny

P.S. It is still on my shoe.

Dear Mom and Dad,

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! This is my emergency letter because I have health problums. I have rashes on my chest, thys, neck, butt, arms, and shoulders. What should I do?

Love,
Lisa

Dear Mom,

I’m really homesick. I cry every day. I cry all the time. I am crying now. I can’t speak. I think I should go to the nurse. I am finishing this letter 3 days late. I went to the nurse because I couldn’t speak. The nurse gave me a strep test. I didn’t have it. She said to take Motrin (pills) for 2 days. Then after take 1/3 of salt water RH, then at GZ then at GNT. I’m good now.”

Love,
Jessie

Columnist and blogger Julie Gerstenblatt writes with humor and candor about her life in Scarsdale, her friends and family, and the particular demands of motherhood and wifedom in modern-day suburbia. She recently published her first novel, Lauren Takes Leave.