Political Polarization: The Solution Might Be at Your Dinner Table

We’ve all been there. We’re out to dinner with friends and in an instant the tone of the conversation turns from convivial to confrontational, from amicable to aggressive. Alarmed you find yourself kicking your partner under the table, nudging them “not to go there.”

With the country polarized over politics it’s a situation that is hard to avoid.

But instead of skirting all points on which we disagree, is it better to find a way to conduct a civil discussion? How will we understand one another if we can’t discuss the issues that tear up apart?

That’s the subject of the documentary “Undivide Us,” that was shown at the Scarsdale Library on Saturday September 21 at an event hosted by the League of Women Voters of Scarsdale.

The film takes us on a road trip to three swing states, Arizona, Georgia and Pennsylvania where focus groups are conducted with people of divergent viewpoints. Raising subjects like gun control, abortion and the environment, the group leader attempts to show the participants how to conduct productive conversations where they can understand the views of others and also be understood.

Using conversational techniques designed for marriage counseling, participants can reflect on why others feel the way they do in order to bridge gaps. Simply put, a participant can ask, “Can I reflect back to you why I think you think what you think?”

The film was directed by Kristi Kendall, a television news producer, who “has developed an expertise in leveraging the power of story to bring together unlikely collaborators to work synergistically on project that help shape public opinion.” And that’s just what she does in “Undivide Us,” where she contends that in reality, “Only about 20% of Americans are unable to have discussions with people they disagree with ….so the other 80% can chat.”

Following the screening, Kendall was interviewed via Zoom by Valerie Abrahams, former editor of the Scarsdale Inquirer.

Asked for advice on how to bring her ideas to the Scarsdale community Kendall told the people in the room who had viewed the film, “You are now part of the solution. In social circles and at dining tables, treat others with respect and authentic honesty. … seek to understand rather than seek to be understood.”

Sadly, the producers noted that even after hours of conversation no one changed their minds on the issues, but they did change their attitude about people who disagree with them.

In order to spread the word, Kendall recommends the following:

Go to Undivideusmovie.com, and first sign the Undivide Us Pledge for Respect.

See a long list of venues where the film will be shown this fall and request a screening in your community. Share the movie trailer on social media and with friends.

It starts with you. Rather than avoiding touchy subjects, use civil discourse to understand and build mutual respect.

Learn more here: https://undivideusmovie.com/