In the Wake of Controversy, Scarsdale Residents Search for Common Ground

What do your friends and neighbors think about the political climate in Scarsdale?

A series of events that some characterized as antisemitic occurred in April, ultimately causing the school board president to step aside from his leadership role. Tensions were high on May 11 at the first meeting of the Scarsdale Board of Education following the events, when students, parents and community members stepped up to share their feelings.
If you want to know what was said – we won’t rehash it – you can read it all here.

But if you’re wondering why this occurred, here are some thoughts on the underlying reasons for the disagreements. Perhaps some lessons can be learned from the experience to avoid future conflict.

We caught up with a few friends around town to gather their thoughts in the wake of this uncharacteristically discordant period in our usually peaceful Village.

Here is what we learned:

We asked a school administrator why he thought people here seemed so angry and he surmised that global conflicts, injustice, and lack of civility from the outside world are spilling into our local conversations. It’s disturbing to witness a war abroad, polarization, the breakdown of our political and justice system, and loss of free speech to name a few – and TO feel powerless to right the wrongs. So when something occurs in an arena where residents have some control, they speak up, injecting local discourse with the same rancor they see in the national news. Rather than radiating our spirit of civil discourse outward, we’re absorbing the world’s venom into our conversations in town.

Another observer offered this view on community conflict: She cautioned our leaders not to listen to the loudest voices in the room. She suggested that only a few extremists on either side of the debate were making it appear that the entire community was up in arms. This was amplified by television reporters coming to town and seeking out only the most irate residents who made it seem as if the fabric of Scarsdale were coming apart at the seams. Angry words and memes spread quickly on social media. In her observations, for the most part, she sees her neighbors and friends as consensus builders who seek a middle ground and do not believe that our community is so divided. Her advice? Seek out the quietest voices in the room and find out what they are thinking.

We heard a few comments from people who thought that the parents were the problem. Referring to the rancor among the adults, one woman asked, “What kind of message are you sending to your kids?” If the parents had not gotten involved in these school events, would the kids have been quietly disciplined – and spared Scarsdale from an appearance on the nightly news?

A former PTA President suggested that the “buck stops” at following school rules. The culpable students broke the rules that govern political and apolitical conduct alike. She said, “The kids know what they are allowed and not allowed to do.” She saw it as an open and shut case and was surprised that there is controversy surrounding blatant violation of the long-running rules at student performances. In response to recent events the district has released their Guidelines for Student Expression at School-Sponsored Activities.

Hopefully, codifying these rules will prevent further misconduct and familiarize everyone with these longstanding policies. Some conduct however, like tearing down signs and placing them in urinals, is beyond codification. For that, there is no explicit rule. Who would think to do something like that! So this one is on parents to do their best to teach common sense and good values at home.

A recent SHS graduate reflected on the importance of respect and suggested that conflicts often become more divisive when people focus on trying to impose their political views on others rather than listening and finding common ground. She said, “Many people are not especially concerned with the political opinions of teenagers but are far more interested in seeing students treat one another with maturity, understanding, and respect.”

To that end a few suggested that the schools build lessons on civil discourse into the curriculum, so that students can learn how to effectively state their views while listening to other opinions. In other words, we need to learn how to agree to disagree with civility.

A wise woman I met in the board room shared her takeaway from the events. She said, “Although the full duration of the public comment at the Board of Education meeting on Monday May 11th was clearly diverse in the perspectives discussed, what stood out to me as a listener was that everyone really wanted the same thing: to be safe, to feel respected, and to be able to express their beliefs and views in a way that is uplifting to them while (ideally) not demeaning or threatening to others.”

So what can we take away from this period of strife? To the girl and mother in their keffiyahs and the boy in the kippah I have a few words of advice. Respect one another for your cultures, respect one another for your beliefs and even respect one another for the dress you wear to represent your identities.

If we follow the rules, engage in civil discourse and respect diverse people and viewpoints, maybe we can find common ground. Let’s be embraced for our differences, not targeted because of them.