On Our Minds

Details: Written by Joanne Wallenstein; Published: 10 December 2022; Created: 10 December 2022; Last Updated: 26 February 2023; Hits: 1177

The following was written by mindfulness and meditation expert Cheryl Brause. Check out her new meditation studio, Pause to be Present in Scarsdale Village.

It’s that time of year again - holiday season. It’s a time of celebration, joy, and togetherness. It can also be a time of stress and feelings of sadness or loneliness. Travel, family reunions, social gatherings, overflowing “to do” lists, and pressure to feel joyful this time of year can feel overwhelming. Here are some tips from mindfulness expert Cheryl Vigder Brause, to help you lower stress, slow down, and feel more joy and ease this time of year.

1. Look for the “Ands”

In any situation there are always the “ands.” These are the good things, the positive or pleasant things that bring you joy. Even in difficult times, you can look for the “ands” to foster positivity in your experience and help you feel more balanced and less overwhelmed. Remember that even the little things aren't so little. A nice deep breath, a beautiful sunset, snuggling with a pet, a walk outside, a restful nap, a delicious cup of coffee, these are the “ands” that can re-energize you and help you feel joy and ease, even in very stressful times. You have to pause, look for them, give yourself time to enjoy them, and really feel that joy or ease in your body. It takes time and practice but looking for the “ands” can make a big difference in your life!

2. Do Less

We often want to do it all and do it all perfectly. This year, give yourself a break and do less. Know what boundaries you need to set and set them. Know when it is time to leave or what topics you prefer not to discuss. It’s OK to say NO and set those boundaries. In doing so, you are honoring your own limits and preferences. Just as we all like to spread good cheer and kindness this time of year, don’t forget yourself in the mix and give yourself a much-needed break by taking a few things off your “to do” list.

3. Good Enough studio1 Cheryl Brause and Stephanie Falk

Holidays are often full of memories and expectations. We set the bar impossibly high for ourselves in terms of how we want things to be or how we want others to act. Then, we get upset, angry or disappointed when things (or we) don’t live up to those expectations. So, adopt the phrase, “good enough.” A messy house, a less than perfect table setting, a moment of impatience or frustration — are good enough. Catch yourself when you are apologizing or berating yourself and stop right there. Remember it is good enough and you are good enough!

4. Set An Intention to Help You Stay Grounded

Setting an intention is a powerful way to stay grounded during the holidays. Before you welcome guests, head to the airport, enter someone’s home, or sit down at the holiday table, set an intention to help you get into the right mindset. Ask yourself, “What matters most to me right now?” Or “How do I want to show up?” See what answers arise. Then, pick a word or phrase and repeat it to yourself often to remember how you want to show up and what you want to focus on. Some helpful intentions to repeat to yourself over the holidays are:

-Slow down
-Be patient
-Be kind
-Relax (literally let go of tension in your body and open your heart to fun and joy — let your body lead the way)
-That’s interesting
-Everyone is (I am) doing the best that they (I) can

5. Be Where Your Feet Are

The best gift you can give others is your presence. There is magic in being exactly where you are physically and mentally. The more you pull your attention into the present moment in a non-judgmental and openhearted way, the more you can steer clear of all those stories or Cheryl judgments about what is or what is not happening right now. You can also avoid mentally time traveling where your mind is often full of regrets from the past or worries about the future. Remember that the only place you ever are is here, in this moment, don’t miss it. This holiday season be where your feet are and give the gift of presence to yourself and those around you.

Cheryl Vigder Brause is a nationally recognized mindfulness and meditation expert, writer, speaker and mother of three who resides in Larchmont. Cheryl specializes in teaching corporate clients, schools and people across the country how to manage stress, boost happiness, and live their best life. She is the Co-Founder of Pause to be Present, a virtual meditation studio with a new in-person studio in Scarsdale Village. To learn more about upcoming live and in-person classes and workshops visit www.pausetobepresent.com

Details: Written by Adam Katcher; Published: 01 December 2022; Created: 01 December 2022; Last Updated: 01 December 2022; Hits: 3824

This article was written by Adam Katcher, Scarsdale High School Class of 2022. He is currently attending Columbia University.

With Early Decision and Early Action deadlines behind us, high school seniors find themselves in a stressful situation. January 1st marks the deadline for regular applications, so with just one month remaining until 2023, the clock is ticking on the time when the students have some control over their fate. In the New Year, the college admission boards possess all the power.

It is scary to an extent: on the surface, some seem calm about the entire process, not showing too much worry about their Early Decision outcome. This may lead others to feel like they are out of place if they do, in fact, have anxiety about the whole college situation. But, as Dori Baron, a freshman at Columbia University, advises, “trust you will end up happy in the long run.” And yes, everything will end up okay in the long run, but that does not mean some present stress is not justified.

For now, seniors still have time to maximize their chances, so below are some tips for all seniors to take into consideration in these final weeks of the college process.

Tips for Approaching the End of the College Process

• Breathe and Relax: Proper advice on “how to write a killer application” and similar topics is coming shortly, but seriously, first, breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Early Decision results matter to an extent, so congratulations if successful, but those congratulations, in the worst case, will have to be delayed a few months if deferred/rejected. In the short run, yes, it is stressful. But breathe and remind yourself it will all work out in a few months maximum. If you do not believe this article, ask all teachers and guidance counselors: it will all work out. Also, do not lose touch with your friends. Baron, when reflecting on the stress of her college process, explained, “It was very comforting leaning on other people because everyone was going through the same process.”

• Be Unique: This advice is not unique compared to other sources one can find, but the importance of this must be highlighted. Admissions officers have to read hundreds of thousands of applications. Since your grades may be similar to other applicants, a gripping, enthralling, distinct application can make a difference. Essays can demonstrate your individuality. Colleges do not want applications that solely show how smart someone is and nothing more. In the words of Baron, they do not want a “carbon copy” of another “typical applicant.” Use supplements and essays to show who you are and elaborate on your areas of expertise, whatever they may be. Detail the type of person you are, rather than showing you are just another smart person.

• Nothing Is Out of the Question: If a student is an avid poet in their free time, even if they do not often share their work, they should still demonstrate their interest in the field. Even if an application primarily focuses on success in STEM clubs and grades are stronger in STEM courses, for example, if the student is passionate about their poetry and may even consider pursuing a class or two about it during college, they should dedicate some of the application to it (even if it is just one portion in the activity section). Unless this is a rare situation of applying to a university that does not offer any humanities courses, then yes, be unique by describing in detail unique traits/hobbies; if a student’s array of interests are a widely-cast net, be proud of it. For students applying to liberal arts schools, having an interdisciplinary application often matches the philosophy of what the school hopes students will want to learn.

• Make Backup Plans (If Necessary): Once again, those who are waiting on Early Decision results should still get a head start on other applications to ensure they do not have to cram a dozen applications into the final couple of weeks of the year (which would mean a student loses their entire winter break to the college process). Get a head start on regular decision applications. If they end up going to waste, it means the gold of Early Decision acceptance has already been struck. If unfortunate news comes in December, then at least it has not all been left until the last minute to throw entire applications together.

• Create Set Deadlines: Setting firm deadlines for oneself will combat procrastination. However, if this is not a viable approach, ask someone else - a friend or parent - to set a deadline. With accountability, procrastination is minimized. The best part about these deadlines is that if the deadline is beat early you can get a head-start on the next deadline, or even take a break. Baron described her approach, “I made a spreadsheet with all the deadlines and included how many questions there were for each application. I am happy that I was ahead in case things didn’t work out.”

• Keep Track of Supplements/Essays: It is up to the individual whether they set their personal deadlines based on a college-by-college basis or section-by-section of the application basis. Regardless, before writing any applications, it is a good idea to compile all essay/supplemental questions asked by the colleges in one’s wish list.

• See What Ideas Can Be Recycled: See what supplemental essays overlap, or in some cases, are even identical. Of course, if college-specific supplements are asked, do research; show knowledge about the university and how acceptance would enhance individual learning and add a valuable member to their specific community. When encountering non-college-specific questions recycling is allowed in moderation. “I was trying hard to recycle because I thought, ‘this would save time,’” recalls Baron, “but I think sometimes it was more difficult to recycle stuff because even though prompts were kind of asking similar things, they all had their own twist and spin; I would recycle some sentences or general ideas, but I would never completely copy and paste.” She also added, “I found this approach more rewarding.”

• Have Others Read Your Essays: An essay that may look perfect to some may not be the ideal essay to others. Get multiple opinions on all essays - use English teachers, guidance counselors, parents, friends, older siblings, or whoever is willing to offer their time. Amalgamating their opinions to create the optimal essays gives the best chance at creating an application that will be appealing to an admission officer, as by this point, the writing has already withstood the test of all sorts of criticism.

• Including Yourself: With that being said, do not only rely on the advice of others in writing the essays. Take ownership of it and make sure, despite the responses of others, it remains unique. If there are blatant errors or sentences that do not make sense, then yes, heed the advice of others. However, if the advice portrays the applicant in an undesirable or inaccurate manner, it is up to the individual to take the feedback with a grain of salt and weed out the helpful advice from the bad. It still has to sound like your essay.

• Consistent Grammar: Editing for grammar matters. “I was very crazy about my editing process which I think paid off. You don’t want to risk the typo,” explained Baron. Again, all writers may have a slightly different “digital handwriting style,” for lack of better terms, but if the grammar is inconsistent and incorrect, lots of credibility is lost.

• Stop Calculating Your Odds: Many students use websites that claim to be able to “calculate chances” of being accepted to given colleges based on their GPA and test scores. Stop visiting these websites. Naviance is a useful portal to help students get a general idea of their standing, but understand that in an application, GPA and test scores neither tell the full story nor solely determine the outcome. On this note, do not ask other students where they are applying in hopes of “calculating chances based on how many others from here have applied.” It does not matter. If someone wants to go to a college, or is even somewhat interested, the deciding factor should not be based on how many others are applying. No good comes from compiling endless lists of who else is applying to your target schools.

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• Here Are Your Calculated Odds - 100%: on a case-by-case basis, it is impossible to predict how any application will be viewed. Someone who seems to have “such a good chance” at acceptance may be rejected while the person with “no chance” gets admitted. But, when all applications are considered, everyone ends up at a place well-suited to their strengths and conducive to growth, whether right away, after a gap semester/year, a transfer, or beyond.

For Scarsdale High School Students Who Have Been Accepted/Once All Applications Are In: Make sure to cast a wide net for Senior Options as early as possible – it will be that time of year when all is figured out in no time!

Details: Written by Wendy MacMillan; Published: 07 November 2022; Created: 07 November 2022; Last Updated: 07 November 2022; Hits: 982

SAD When the nights get longer, the days get colder, and our summer glow starts to wane along with our energy and motivation some of us are prone to get the winter blues. But what is the difference between feeling a bit low during the coldest months of the year and the more severe mental health condition, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Recently, Stacey Cook, the “Aging In Place” coordinator at Scarsdale Edgemont Family Counseling Services, helped organize a presentation explaining the differences and outlining the warning signs and tips to prevent both the typical winter blues and SAD. While the presentation was hosted for Scarsdale’s more mature residents, the information shared is valuable for all ages.

The program was led by Alyssa Green, a registered nurse working for Jancare, a private home care service. Ms. Green started her presentation by explaining that it is normal and common to feel down during the coldest, darkest winter months especially during December, January, and February. At one point or another, most of us in Scarsdale have probably felt some of the symptoms of typical winter blues including: sadness, lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, or not engaging in regular self-care. This sort of “seasonal sadness” might involve a lack of motivation to get out of bed, not getting dressed and binging on both TV shows and junk food. Ms. Green made clear though, that while the winter blues might make us feel like hunkering down for a day or two, the feelings usually pass quickly and after a short time the affected person is ready to spruce themselves up and re-engage in their daily routines.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, however, is much more than feeling a little sluggish and down because of bad winter weather. In fact, SAD is a diagnosable mental health disorder that, according to Green, affects more than 10 million people in the US alone. The onset of SAD usually occurs in people between the ages of 18 and 30 and affects both men and women. Green went on to explain that while people with SAD may also suffer from a lack of motivation and depressed feelings, the symptoms of SAD are much more intense and debilitating. People with SAD may experience changes in mood, decreased energy levels, a loss of interest in enjoyable activities, inability to focus and concentrate, trouble sleeping and getting out of bed in the morning, a lack of motivation to partake in daily grooming such as brushing teeth, increased appetite and over-eating, feelings of hopelessness and even suicidal thoughts and ideations. And while the winter blues might come and go and can typically be resolved with a few interventions, SAD is overwhelming, persistent and may need to be treated with medication.

The good news is that there are steps to take to prevent both the winter blues and these blues from worsening and turning into Seasonal Affective Disorder. Before symptoms emerge, Green suggests the following preventative steps:

-Stay connected to friends, family, or community. Take advantage of community centers and other local resources to maintain healthy, active relationships.

-Create and maintain an exercise routine. While walking outside in the sunshine and fresh air is highly recommended, even stretching and small exercises at home are beneficial.

-Maintain a balanced diet with lots of water, fruit, and fiber to make sure you take care of your bowels and remove unwanted toxins.

-Establish and stick to a regular sleep routine where you wake up and go to bed at the same times each day.

-Try to get as much natural daylight as possible by going outside or by just making sure to open all the curtains in your home.

If you or someone you know is starting to experience symptoms of the winter blues, Green suggests taking small, simple steps to help get back on track:

-Have a cup of warm tea or take a warm bath.

-Use prayer or meditation to help clear and focus your mind.

-Get outside for an early morning walk.

-Watch a funny show that will make you laugh and help your brain release natural endorphins (but stay away from the news!).

-Get a plant or small pet that you can talk to and will rely on you to take care of it.

-Listen to uplifting music.

-Use a light box for light therapy. Thirty minutes each morning has proven to be helpful for many who struggle with SAD.

It is important to remember, particularly when we set back our clocks and natural daylight ends earlier, to pay attention to our mental well-being and monitor our loved ones. If either you or someone you know seems to be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder, reach out to a doctor or mental health provider who can prescribe medication or other effective treatment options.

Details: Written by Danielle Feigenbam; Published: 21 November 2022; Created: 21 November 2022; Last Updated: 21 November 2022; Hits: 1725

WRT1 Congregants from Westchester Reform Temple are doing their part to fight food insecurity in our local communities. To ensure that as many people as possible, regardless of circumstances, have the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving, the temple is joining a local Scarsdale tradition - Grandma Pat’s Thanksgiving Dinner - to come together to feed those who might otherwise go hungry on Thanksgiving.

On Sunday November 20, members came together to prepare Thanksgiving meals for those in need. The WRT community will continue to cook, bake, and assemble meals for distribution by volunteers in time for the holiday. The meals will be distributed at local churches and community centers through Meals on Main and The Friendly Fridge Network.

A bit about Grandma Pat: Grandma Pat was the mother of a local Scarsdale mother, Cindi Fisher, who shared in the belief that no one should go hungry, much less on Thanksgiving when others are able to gather around a table and enjoy a holiday meal. When Pat passed away, Grandma Pat’s Thanksgiving Dinner was her family’s way of not only feeding those who are hungry but also of keeping alive the traditions of showing kindness and support to those who are experiencing food insecurity. Cindy Fisher is teaming up with the synagogue to continue her family’s tradition.

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Details: Written by Joanne Wallenstein; Published: 01 November 2022; Created: 01 November 2022; Last Updated: 31 August 2023; Hits: 1316

Tova This year's Halloween Parade brought a host of kids to the Village - some experiencing Halloween for the first time. They enjoyed a parade, treats and crafts sponsored by the Scarsdale Forum along with a show from a magician.