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Written by Joanne Wallenstein

Published: 10 December 2022

Created: 10 December 2022

Last Updated: 26 February 2023

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The following was written by mindfulness and meditation expert Cheryl Brause. Check out her new meditation studio, Pause to be Present in Scarsdale Village.

It’s that time of year again - holiday season. It’s a time of celebration, joy, and togetherness. It can also be a time of stress and feelings of sadness or loneliness. Travel, family reunions, social gatherings, overflowing “to do” lists, and pressure to feel joyful this time of year can feel overwhelming. Here are some tips from mindfulness expert Cheryl Vigder Brause, to help you lower stress, slow down, and feel more joy and ease this time of year.

1. Look for the “Ands”

In any situation there are always the “ands.” These are the good things, the positive or pleasant things that bring you joy. Even in difficult times, you can look for the “ands” to foster positivity in your experience and help you feel more balanced and less overwhelmed. Remember that even the little things aren't so little. A nice deep breath, a beautiful sunset, snuggling with a pet, a walk outside, a restful nap, a delicious cup of coffee, these are the “ands” that can re-energize you and help you feel joy and ease, even in very stressful times. You have to pause, look for them, give yourself time to enjoy them, and really feel that joy or ease in your body. It takes time and practice but looking for the “ands” can make a big difference in your life!

2. Do Less

We often want to do it all and do it all perfectly. This year, give yourself a break and do less. Know what boundaries you need to set and set them. Know when it is time to leave or what topics you prefer not to discuss. It’s OK to say NO and set those boundaries. In doing so, you are honoring your own limits and preferences. Just as we all like to spread good cheer and kindness this time of year, don’t forget yourself in the mix and give yourself a much-needed break by taking a few things off your “to do” list.

3. Good EnoughCheryl Brause and Stephanie Falk

Holidays are often full of memories and expectations. We set the bar impossibly high for ourselves in terms of how we want things to be or how we want others to act. Then, we get upset, angry or disappointed when things (or we) don’t live up to those expectations. So, adopt the phrase, “good enough.” A messy house, a less than perfect table setting, a moment of impatience or frustration — are good enough. Catch yourself when you are apologizing or berating yourself and stop right there. Remember it is good enough and you are good enough!

4. Set An Intention to Help You Stay Grounded

Setting an intention is a powerful way to stay grounded during the holidays. Before you welcome guests, head to the airport, enter someone’s home, or sit down at the holiday table, set an intention to help you get into the right mindset. Ask yourself, “What matters most to me right now?” Or “How do I want to show up?” See what answers arise. Then, pick a word or phrase and repeat it to yourself often to remember how you want to show up and what you want to focus on. Some helpful intentions to repeat to yourself over the holidays are:

-Slow down
-Be patient
-Be kind
-Relax (literally let go of tension in your body and open your heart to fun and joy — let your body lead the way)
-That’s interesting
-Everyone is (I am) doing the best that they (I) can

5. Be Where Your Feet Are

The best gift you can give others is your presence. There is magic in being exactly where you are physically and mentally. The more you pull your attention into the present moment in a non-judgmental and openhearted way, the more you can steer clear of all those stories or judgments about what is or what is not happening right now. You can also avoid mentally time traveling where your mind is often full of regrets from the past or worries about the future. Remember that the only place you ever are is here, in this moment, don’t miss it. This holiday season be where your feet are and give the gift of presence to yourself and those around you.

Cheryl Vigder Brause is a nationally recognized mindfulness and meditation expert, writer, speaker and mother of three who resides in Larchmont. Cheryl specializes in teaching corporate clients, schools and people across the country how to manage stress, boost happiness, and live their best life. She is the Co-Founder of Pause to be Present, a virtual meditation studio with a new in-person studio in Scarsdale Village. To learn more about upcoming live and in-person classes and workshops visit www.pausetobepresent.com

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Written by Cheryl Brause

Published: 04 January 2023

Created: 04 January 2023

Last Updated: 04 January 2023

Hits: 1643

Living through a worldwide pandemic over the past several years has been incredibly challenging. The impact of fear, stress, and uncertainty that we experienced has taken a toll on our mental and physical health, as seen by the record-high rates of depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and stress-related illnesses in our country.

Now, we find ourselves living in a “new” normal. We feel less in control, more uncertainty, and a greater sense of imbalance in our lives as we adjust to thisnew way of being. To add to those challenges, we live in a time of constant distraction, where technology has become an essential part of our daily lives and is designed to pull our attention away from being where we are. As a result, people are finding it more and more difficult to quiet their minds, focus their attention, be present, and relax. 

As the new year begins, this is the perfect time to take action and create new habits to improve your health and well-being. Emerging research shows that exercising your mind is the newest frontier in health and wellness. Large-scale studies have shown that one powerful and effective way to improve your mental and physical health is by practicing mindfulness. There are many benefits of mindfulness practice which include:

• Decreased stress and anxiety
• Improved sleep
• Boosted immune system response
• Lowered blood pressure
• Lessened feelings of depression
• Lowering emotional reactivity
• Boosted resilience 
• Increased happiness

Mindfulness and meditation also provide a wonderful refuge from the busyness of life. The deeper gift of mindfulness and meditation is helping you live your life fully, authentically, and with greater ease.

What is Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful way to journey through life. It is an unlearning of the unhealthy mental habits of reactivity, busyness, and constant distraction that result in stress, fatigue, and anxiety. Mindfulness is learning to purposefully pay attention to the present moment and to what is happening right now by embracing thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations with openness and acceptance. In learning to be more present, you no longer miss all the good stuff that is actually happening because you are too busy focusing on or worrying about what is not actually happening right now. You are training your brain to find more joy in everyday moments and learning to navigate difficult moments with greater ease and resilience.

 How To Get Started

The best part about mindfulness is that it can be done anytime, anywhere, by anyone. There are easy and accessible ways to get started in your life right now. Experts agree that the best way to start and maintain a mindfulness practice is to find a skilled and experienced teacher, learn with a supportive community, create strategies to keep you motivated and set your intention to stick with it. The great news is that the new meditation studio, Pause to be Present, in Scarsdale offers you all of these things and more! 

One tool that we teach at Pause to be Present is to start small and build the habit of mindfulness over time. Task stacking is another strategy that helps you maintain a new habit by adding the new habit onto another task you are already doing. For example, when brushing your teeth each morning, you can choose to make this your mindfulness practice by fully experiencing brushing your teeth, instead of thinking of everything other than how it feels to brush your teeth. In doing so, you are purposefully placing your attention in the present moment, and training your brain to focus. Simply picking one activity that you do each day, and doing it with your full attention, is one of many easy ways to begin your mindfulness practice right now. 

Feel the Benefits Right Away

The good news is you can start to feel the benefits right away. Although the simple exercise of being fully present for more moments of your day may seem inconsequential, the effects can be profound. For example, drinking your morning coffee with your full attention and without distractions can boost your focus, add a few moments of quiet and calm to your day, and bring you pleasure, joy, and gratitude - all from that one little cup of coffee. The most important part is actually pausing to be present long enough to feel those benefits. 

Pause to be Present - Your Mindfulness Community

Pause to be Present offers virtual and in person classes and workshops, to help you experience the incredible benefits of living a more mindful life! We have daily online guided meditations with expert teachers and an on-demand meditation library so you can practice on your own, anytime, anywhere. 

Interested in getting started? Join us for our popular introductory 6-week course, Foundations of Mindfulness, starting Tuesday, January 17th, in our Scarsdale studio or live online. This course will teach you everything you need to know to get started, as well as walk you through practices week by week. We are also kicking off a February Mindfulness Challenge. By signing up for this 28-day mindfulness challenge, you will receive one email in your inbox each day with a guided meditation or mindfulness practice to help you establish your practice. Our Mindful Parenting series will help you bring more calm into your home and more joy into your parenting. And, our Bringing Nature In will help you enjoy the healing power of nature even during these long winter months. Or, you can simply join us for our in-person Press Pause class in our Scarsdale studio to experience all the benefits of mindfulness with the guidance of our expert teachers. 

We hope you will join us virtually or in person. We know that this practice can transform your life in so many positive ways! For more information about all of our offerings, go to www.pausetobepresent.com or contact us at info@pausetobepresent.com.

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Written by Adam Katcher

Published: 01 December 2022

Created: 01 December 2022

Last Updated: 01 December 2022

Hits: 2824

This article was written by Adam Katcher, Scarsdale High School Class of 2022. He is currently attending Columbia University.

With Early Decision and Early Action deadlines behind us, high school seniors find themselves in a stressful situation. January 1st marks the deadline for regular applications, so with just one month remaining until 2023, the clock is ticking on the time when the students have some control over their fate. In the New Year, the college admission boards possess all the power.

It is scary to an extent: on the surface, some seem calm about the entire process, not showing too much worry about their Early Decision outcome. This may lead others to feel like they are out of place if they do, in fact, have anxiety about the whole college situation. But, as Dori Baron, a freshman at Columbia University, advises, “trust you will end up happy in the long run.” And yes, everything will end up okay in the long run, but that does not mean some present stress is not justified.

For now, seniors still have time to maximize their chances, so below are some tips for all seniors to take into consideration in these final weeks of the college process.

Tips for Approaching the End of the College Process

• Breathe and Relax: Proper advice on “how to write a killer application” and similar topics is coming shortly, but seriously, first, breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Early Decision results matter to an extent, so congratulations if successful, but those congratulations, in the worst case, will have to be delayed a few months if deferred/rejected. In the short run, yes, it is stressful. But breathe and remind yourself it will all work out in a few months maximum. If you do not believe this article, ask all teachers and guidance counselors: it will all work out. Also, do not lose touch with your friends. Baron, when reflecting on the stress of her college process, explained, “It was very comforting leaning on other people because everyone was going through the same process.”

• Be Unique: This advice is not unique compared to other sources one can find, but the importance of this must be highlighted. Admissions officers have to read hundreds of thousands of applications. Since your grades may be similar to other applicants, a gripping, enthralling, distinct application can make a difference. Essays can demonstrate your individuality. Colleges do not want applications that solely show how smart someone is and nothing more. In the words of Baron, they do not want a “carbon copy” of another “typical applicant.” Use supplements and essays to show who you are and elaborate on your areas of expertise, whatever they may be. Detail the type of person you are, rather than showing you are just another smart person.

• Nothing Is Out of the Question: If a student is an avid poet in their free time, even if they do not often share their work, they should still demonstrate their interest in the field. Even if an application primarily focuses on success in STEM clubs and grades are stronger in STEM courses, for example, if the student is passionate about their poetry and may even consider pursuing a class or two about it during college, they should dedicate some of the application to it (even if it is just one portion in the activity section). Unless this is a rare situation of applying to a university that does not offer any humanities courses, then yes, be unique by describing in detail unique traits/hobbies; if a student’s array of interests are a widely-cast net, be proud of it. For students applying to liberal arts schools, having an interdisciplinary application often matches the philosophy of what the school hopes students will want to learn.

• Make Backup Plans (If Necessary): Once again, those who are waiting on Early Decision results should still get a head start on other applications to ensure they do not have to cram a dozen applications into the final couple of weeks of the year (which would mean a student loses their entire winter break to the college process). Get a head start on regular decision applications. If they end up going to waste, it means the gold of Early Decision acceptance has already been struck. If unfortunate news comes in December, then at least it has not all been left until the last minute to throw entire applications together.

• Create Set Deadlines: Setting firm deadlines for oneself will combat procrastination. However, if this is not a viable approach, ask someone else - a friend or parent - to set a deadline. With accountability, procrastination is minimized. The best part about these deadlines is that if the deadline is beat early you can get a head-start on the next deadline, or even take a break. Baron described her approach, “I made a spreadsheet with all the deadlines and included how many questions there were for each application. I am happy that I was ahead in case things didn’t work out.”

• Keep Track of Supplements/Essays: It is up to the individual whether they set their personal deadlines based on a college-by-college basis or section-by-section of the application basis. Regardless, before writing any applications, it is a good idea to compile all essay/supplemental questions asked by the colleges in one’s wish list.

• See What Ideas Can Be Recycled: See what supplemental essays overlap, or in some cases, are even identical. Of course, if college-specific supplements are asked, do research; show knowledge about the university and how acceptance would enhance individual learning and add a valuable member to their specific community. When encountering non-college-specific questions recycling is allowed in moderation. “I was trying hard to recycle because I thought, ‘this would save time,’” recalls Baron, “but I think sometimes it was more difficult to recycle stuff because even though prompts were kind of asking similar things, they all had their own twist and spin; I would recycle some sentences or general ideas, but I would never completely copy and paste.” She also added, “I found this approach more rewarding.”

• Have Others Read Your Essays: An essay that may look perfect to some may not be the ideal essay to others. Get multiple opinions on all essays - use English teachers, guidance counselors, parents, friends, older siblings, or whoever is willing to offer their time. Amalgamating their opinions to create the optimal essays gives the best chance at creating an application that will be appealing to an admission officer, as by this point, the writing has already withstood the test of all sorts of criticism.

• Including Yourself: With that being said, do not only rely on the advice of others in writing the essays. Take ownership of it and make sure, despite the responses of others, it remains unique. If there are blatant errors or sentences that do not make sense, then yes, heed the advice of others. However, if the advice portrays the applicant in an undesirable or inaccurate manner, it is up to the individual to take the feedback with a grain of salt and weed out the helpful advice from the bad. It still has to sound like your essay.

• Consistent Grammar: Editing for grammar matters. “I was very crazy about my editing process which I think paid off. You don’t want to risk the typo,” explained Baron. Again, all writers may have a slightly different “digital handwriting style,” for lack of better terms, but if the grammar is inconsistent and incorrect, lots of credibility is lost.

• Stop Calculating Your Odds: Many students use websites that claim to be able to “calculate chances” of being accepted to given colleges based on their GPA and test scores. Stop visiting these websites. Naviance is a useful portal to help students get a general idea of their standing, but understand that in an application, GPA and test scores neither tell the full story nor solely determine the outcome. On this note, do not ask other students where they are applying in hopes of “calculating chances based on how many others from here have applied.” It does not matter. If someone wants to go to a college, or is even somewhat interested, the deciding factor should not be based on how many others are applying. No good comes from compiling endless lists of who else is applying to your target schools.

• Here Are Your Calculated Odds - 100%: on a case-by-case basis, it is impossible to predict how any application will be viewed. Someone who seems to have “such a good chance” at acceptance may be rejected while the person with “no chance” gets admitted. But, when all applications are considered, everyone ends up at a place well-suited to their strengths and conducive to growth, whether right away, after a gap semester/year, a transfer, or beyond.

For Scarsdale High School Students Who Have Been Accepted/Once All Applications Are In: Make sure to cast a wide net for Senior Options as early as possible – it will be that time of year when all is figured out in no time!